We understand that the very act of wearing pants is kind of like adorning your legs in potential pockets — as long as nothing falls out the bottom, you’ve got fabric fit for carrying stuff. But just because you’ve got room in your pants to spare doesn’t mean it’s okay to shove stolen meat (or seafood) down there, as yet another bad consumer has shown us this week. [More]
shoplifting
Attempting To Steal Steaks From Walmart By Sitting On Them Only Leads To Your Arrest And Really Flat Steaks
By 11.19.14
We already know that meat is the product of choice for many shoplifters and that more often than not that particular kind of theft involves the meat being shoved down one’s pants. But a new development in meat-centric thefts occurred this week when a man allegedly tried to steal several rib-eye steaks by sitting on them. [More]
Florida Man Stuffs Chainsaw Up Shirt, Tries To Bicycle Away
By 10.31.14
A few years ago, we shared the story of a bold shoplifter who thought that nobody would notice if he stuffed a chainsaw down his pants and tried to make a break for it. Someone will notice, as it turns out. In Florida, police say that a man tried to commit a similar crime this week, only with the chainsaw stuffed in his shirt. He did not succeed. [More]
Does Using Someone Else’s Costco Card To Steal From Store Count As Burglary?
By 10.31.14
When you leave a store without having paid for something, you’ve likely committed the crime of theft, but if you use someone else’s card to get into a warehouse club like Costco or Sam’s Club and then walk out of the store without paying for items in your bag, have you also committed the crime of burglary? A New Mexico appeals court says no, but it depends on where you live. [More]
Walmart Shoplifter Threatens To Infect Employee With HIV
By 10.31.14
A wannabe shoplifter at a Dallas Walmart somehow thought it would be a good idea to threaten a store employee with HIV infection rather than get in trouble for trying to pilfer $11 worth of frozen food from the retailer. [More]
Hating Lines Isn’t A Good Enough Excuse To Shoplift $300 In Liquor, Other Goods From Walmart
By 10.21.14
Long lines are a pain, but they’re part of the deal when you shop at major retail stores. If you don’t like to wait you can always fulfill your grocery list during off-hours, but you can’t just walk out the door without paying. [More]
Ohio’s Worst Walmart Employee Steals Cash From Customer, Food From Deli In Same Day
By 10.6.14
If you’re a bad enough person to steal from a customer, it’s probably not much of a stretch to think you’d steal from your employer too. But to be caught doing both in the same day takes a special kind of stupid. [More]
Police: Woman Scammed Victoria’s Secret Out Of $53K Using Stolen Underwear
By 10.6.14
There’s absolutely no problem with making money from selling underwear. Unless, of course, those frilly, fancy underthings never belonged to you in the first place, in which case you’ll be in a whole lot of hot water. Police in Florida say one woman managed to bilk Victoria’s Secret out of $53,000 by basically selling the store’s own lingerie back to itself. [More]
Police: Grocery Store Worker Walked Out With $1,200 Worth Of Meat Stuffed In His Pants
By 10.2.14
There are often questions involved in shoplifting incidents — why that particular product? Or what makes a store employee steal from his or her place of employment? And how come meat seems to be the most popular product one can shove down one’s pants (and again, though sometimes it’s puppies)? More mysteries remain to be solved, I’m afraid. [More]
Accused Walmart Shoplifter Flees Very, Very Slowly On Motorized Shopping Cart
By 9.11.14
Usually when someone commits a retail crime, it’s of the utmost importance to get away from the scene of the infraction as quickly as possible. But what if you just don’t feel in the mood to walk? That’s the reason a woman accused of shoplifting at a Michigan Walmart gave for boosting a motorized shopping cart to scoot herself away from the store. [More]
If You Bring A Baby With You To Shoplift At Walmart, Don’t Leave Her Behind
By 9.2.14
While we don’t condone theft of any sort, we are aware of the notion that having a baby with you while you shoplift might help create the illusion that you’re not a petty criminal who needs to be watched by store security. But if you get spotted trying to take advantage of some five-finger discounts, leaving that infant behind is incredibly uncool. It will probably also lead the police right to your doorstep. [More]
Police: Do You Have Four Logs Of Swiss Cheese Stuffed Down Your Pants Or… (Insert Punchline)
By 8.6.14
I can imagine getting away with stuffing one log of rather expensive Swiss cheese down your pants and passing it off as a “No big deal, nothing to see here, just a guy walking around a store,” situation. But four logs of cheese? Come on now, we know you’re not just really, really happy to see us. [More]
If You Want To Keep Your Job As A News Anchor, Don’t Get Caught Shoplifting
By 8.6.14
As celebs like Wynona Ryder have demonstrated, you can get caught shoplifting and still go on to have a decent career in the public eye. Perhaps Ryder’s redemption tale will give some hope to a California news woman who has resigned her local anchoring gig after being charged with shoplifting. [More]
Police: Woman Tried To Smuggle Sex Toy Out Of Store In Her Kid’s Stroller
By 7.21.14
It’s always a sign of questionable parenting decisions when bad consumers involve their kids in their nefarious schemes, and at the least, is likely to teach those future consumers all the wrong things. So it’s with a sigh that we have to tell you a woman allegedly tried to sneak a sex toy out of a Spencer’s store by hiding it in her kid’s stroller. [More]
Former Deputy Charged In Shoplifting Incidents That Got Target Worker Fired
By 7.15.14
Yesterday we told you about the Target worker in Virginia who was fired after he reported an alleged shoplifter believed to be a law enforcement officer. Today comes the news that a former sheriff’s deputy has been arrested and charged, while the Target worker remains unemployed. [More]
Yet Another Shoplifter Busted For Allegedly Stuffing Seafood Down Her Pants
By 6.13.14
What is it about people stealing seafood from stores by way of stuffing it down their pants? Because when I think of a prime environment for fruits of the sea, it is not a cramped, stuffy hot pants space. Nevertheless, yet another bad consumer has been accused of pilfering seafood, this time by allegedly shoving seven frozen lobster tails down her pants. [More]
Detroit Police Bust Shoplifting Ring Accused Of Stealing $15K Of Stuff Per Day
By 4.11.14
While you might think you know about shoplifting based on that ill-advised stint in middle school when everyone was doing it, cops in Detroit have fried a much bigger fish than your normal grab-and-go thieves: Investigators say they’ve just busted a shoplifting ring responsible for stealing as much as $15,000 worth of merchandise a day and reselling it on the Internet. [More]
Do Not Set Bird Seed On Fire To Distract Walmart Staff From Shoplifters
By 4.4.14
Shoplifting is a crime, a scourge in the retail business, and very, very bad. Do you know what’s worse than than shoplifting, though? Setting the store on fire to distract store security while your companion shoplifts. Now a Minneapolis woman has been charged with two counts of arson, and the Walmart store where this happened sustained six-figure damage. [More]
