Consumerist

funny

The 100-Layer Lasagna

By Ben Popken 5.19.10

This is Garfield’s version of heaven on earth, New York restaurant Del Posto’s 100-layer lasagna. It’s 50 sheets of pasta with 50 layers of sauce, requires three kitchen stations, and is served with a unique spatula. To try it you’ll have to order their $500 Collezione grand tasting menu, but then the chef comes and carves it at your table. Yes, carves the lasagna.After all, if we’re going to have an obesity epidemic, the least we can do is be creative about it. (See the monstrosity for real here)

Behind the Menu: Deconstructing the Hundred-Layer Lasagne [New York via thekitchn]

nexus one

New Google Phone Whispers Targeted Ads In Your Ears

By Ben Popken 5.18.10

So this is how Google is going to make the Nexus One work: Advanced voice-recognition technnology will whisper targeted ads directly into your ears, reports The Onion. [More]

activism

Yes Men Launch Business Prank Consulting Services

By Ben Popken 5.17.10

The Yes Men, who have made a name for themselves impersonating business titans, making them say ridiculous things, and fooling some people into believing they’re real, are franchising. They’ve started the Yes Lab where groups can come to them with ideas for specific businesses to skewer and the Yes Men will guide them in creating the most disruptive media impact. [More]

funny

How Many Walmart Employees Does It Take To Screw Up A Return?

By Phil Villarreal 5.13.10

Ournextcontestant has a long, amusing story about the surprisingly difficult ordeal he went through to return a necklace at a Hawaii location while on vacation. He says it took the combined efforts of several employees to complete the transaction, sucking away valuable island enjoyment time: [More]

domtar

Paper Company Plans Campaign To Encourage Kids To Print Things Out

By cwalters 5.12.10

If John Williams, the CEO of Domtar Corp., has his way, kids all across North America will be asking for printers this holiday season. Somehow I doubt he’ll have his way, but here’s his plan: his company is about to launch a “Put It On Paper” campaign via print, Facebook and YouTube that will encourage people to print out things like emails and web pages. [More]

bad consumers

Man Gives $150,000 To Psychic, Then Suspects Fraud

By cwalters 5.10.10

A man in Portland, Oregon says he’s now bankrupt after giving cash, a Hummer, and lots of trust to a local psychic. In all, he says his payments totaled $150k and now he’s bankrupt, and that he wants to warn others not to fall for such things. So just to be clear: don’t give $150,000 in cash and autos to a psychic in exchange for removal-of-demon services. And if you want to buy a tabernacle from the Vatican, deal with the church yourself and don’t go through the local psychic. [More]

business

The 3 Kinds Of American Business

By Ben Popken 5.7.10

According to Tom, there are three basic types of American business. If that’s too many to remember, you can also organize them under them under the umbrella concept known as “screwed up.”

The Three Classes of American Business [4-Block World]

user interface design

Earn $200/hr Teaching Angry Man To Use Apple Products

By Ben Popken 5.7.10

I guess Apple products aren’t idiot-proof after all. We have found your idiot nonpareil. There is a man in San Fran who needs help using Apple products. He is wiling to pay $200 an hour. This is his NSFW Craigsist ad/rant about how he is too busy to figure out how to get his credit card number from auto-populating when his kids buy stuff on iTunes, but has enough time for you to come over to his house and teach him how to use his devices. [More]

credit cards

VIDEO: VISA Is A Monster That Feeds On Human Wealth, And VISA Is Hungry

By Ben Popken 5.6.10

“Go. Get it. Run. Use your VISA card right now. It doesn’t matter what you use your VISA card to buy. It doesn’t matter what you use your VISA to buy. All that matters is that VISA is a monster that feeds on human wealth. And VISA is hungry.” The credit card companies’ rapacious desire for your debt is laid bare in this commercial parody video. I guess you would call what we’re going through now the purging stage? NSFW due to naughty words and suggestive simulating gestures. [More]

microsoft

VIDEO: MS Office Rigged With Alarm (Candid Camera Prank)

By Ben Popken 5.6.10

In this video, a copy of Microsoft Office is rigged with a touch-sensitive alarm and a secret camera that tapes what happens when people around town try to pick it up. Usually they become extremely shocked and lose control of their muscles, dropping the box, shuddering, and even losing their balance. I can’t blame them, that Clippy scares the crap out of me too. Whether it’s just a straight up prank or some kind of anti-software piracy viral video, one thing is for sure: I am amused. [More]

target

Target: We’re Out Of Scales, So Just Buy A Mirror

By Meg Marco 4.29.10 — Updated: 10.9.13

Hmmm, what should one do if Target is out of scales?

cartoonists

See The Fortune 500 Magazine Cover That Was Too Brutally Honest To Run

By cwalters 4.28.10

Fortune magazine commissioned artist Chris Ware to design a cover for their 2010 Fortune 500 issue, so he did. Unfortunately, what he delivered was a detailed, funny, and biting commentary on the current state of our economy–with banker types dancing on the top of mega-buildings that spell out “500,” a factory in Mexico churning out big box merchandise, and a “401k cemetary.” Fortune rejected it, but hasn’t provided any comment on why. Well, okay, it’s probably self-evident why they killed it, but it’s still funny. [More]

lawsuits

Can A Price Scanner Give You Tourette's? (No, Says Judge)

By cwalters 4.27.10

I’ve certainly fought back the urge to shout obscenities at the register over the years, but until now I never thought it might be because the laser in the scanner was triggering an inherited tic disorder; I just thought I was angry about something. A woman in Pennsylvania thinks otherwise and sued a convenience store, claiming that when a clerk shone a price scanner’s LED in her daughter’s face and told her to cheer up, the light burned her daughter and triggered Tourette’s-style symptoms. The judge threw out the case earlier this month for lack of evidence. [More]

consumers union

Giant Banker To Devour Innocent Consumers Tomorrow

By Meg Marco 4.27.10

Consumers Union, the benevolent entity that publishes Consumer Reports and parent company of our own little operation, would like to warn all of you that a giant banker will be devouring innocent consumers on “The Hill” Wednesday. [More]

toys

15 Unintentionally Perverted Children's Toys

By Meg Marco 4.22.10

Cracked has assembled a list of 15 unintentionally perverted children’s toys. This Batman water pistol was somehow the worst. It’s just… we just don’t want to think about it anymore, ok? [More]

advertising

VIDEO: You're Doing It Wrong, A Tribute To As Seen On TV Ads

By Ben Popken 4.22.10

Whatever you’ve been doing, you’ve been doing it wrong. That’s what infomercials teach us, by showing us failing at simple tasks, and then offering the amazing new product to solve it. Showing it in black and white or monochromatic with a big red X seems to drive the point home for some reason. Never mind that these products are usually substandard and make most of their money on over-inflated shipping charges… you need this now! To this end, here’s a tribute to your failure, a remix, set to “Help!” by The Beatles, of 50 different “before” scenes of consumers grinding, chopping, squirting, chopping and wearing their pants intellectively. Can you name all the infomercial products shown? Give it a shot, then scroll down after the jump for the answers. [More]

politics

Pay Your Doctor In Chickens

By cwalters 4.21.10

Sue Lowden, a senate candidate in Nevada, says if you want to combat health care costs you should consider bartering with your doctor. In an appearance on a local political talk show yesterday, she clarified her proposal: [More]

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