Whatever you’ve been doing, you’ve been doing it wrong. That’s what infomercials teach us, by showing us failing at simple tasks, and then offering the amazing new product to solve it. Showing it in black and white or monochromatic with a big red X seems to drive the point home for some reason. Never mind that these products are usually substandard and make most of their money on over-inflated shipping charges… you need this now! To this end, here’s a tribute to your failure, a remix, set to “Help!” by The Beatles, of 50 different “before” scenes of consumers grinding, chopping, squirting, chopping and wearing their pants intellectively. Can you name all the infomercial products shown? Give it a shot, then scroll down after the jump for the answers.

Awesome Auger
Big City Slider
Big Top Cupcake
Bottle Tops
Bumpits
Buxton Palm Wallet
Cami Secret
Covermate
Crazy Critters
CrazyBraid
DepilSilk
Doggy Step
Egg Genie
Emery Cat
EZ Cracker
Grip N Twist, Dual Pro Peeler and Adjust-A-Slice
Handy Groomer spot
ISPEX
JML Exakt Saw
JML Keep Fresh Bags
JML Paint Sprayer Pro
JML Table Mate Dub
JumpSnap the Ropeless Jump Rope
Magic Tap
mighty mend it
Naptastic
Pedi Pistol – Home Pedicure Systems by Ped Egg
PediPaws
Perfect Brownie
Perfect Button
Perfect Patty
Perfect Shelf
Pet Cozy
Robostir
Shoe Dini
Shoes Under
Smart Spin
Snuggie
Spill Daddy Paint Pro
SteamBuddy
Tushee
Tiddy Bear
Tool Band-
TurboSlice
Twin Draft Guard
Twist n Style
UGLU
UGO Bags
Urine Gone
Vidalia Slice Wizard
Zipits

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.