Wherever Craig lives, that’s where the most Hamburgler-proof McDonald’s in the country is located. He says he was there the other night and a police officer got up from the seating area, went around behind the counter, and prepared his order for him. When Craig asked why the officer was also a McDonald’s employee, the officer followed him outside and asked why he cared. That officer probably thought you were the Hamburglar, Craig. [More]
weird
Man Gives $150,000 To Psychic, Then Suspects Fraud
By 5.10.10
A man in Portland, Oregon says he’s now bankrupt after giving cash, a Hummer, and lots of trust to a local psychic. In all, he says his payments totaled $150k and now he’s bankrupt, and that he wants to warn others not to fall for such things. So just to be clear: don’t give $150,000 in cash and autos to a psychic in exchange for removal-of-demon services. And if you want to buy a tabernacle from the Vatican, deal with the church yourself and don’t go through the local psychic. [More]
Can A Price Scanner Give You Tourette's? (No, Says Judge)
By 4.27.10
I’ve certainly fought back the urge to shout obscenities at the register over the years, but until now I never thought it might be because the laser in the scanner was triggering an inherited tic disorder; I just thought I was angry about something. A woman in Pennsylvania thinks otherwise and sued a convenience store, claiming that when a clerk shone a price scanner’s LED in her daughter’s face and told her to cheer up, the light burned her daughter and triggered Tourette’s-style symptoms. The judge threw out the case earlier this month for lack of evidence. [More]
15 Unintentionally Perverted Children's Toys
By 4.22.10
Cracked has assembled a list of 15 unintentionally perverted children’s toys. This Batman water pistol was somehow the worst. It’s just… we just don’t want to think about it anymore, ok? [More]
Everything Is Five Bucks, And Completely Random, On Fiverr
By 3.24.10
Fiverr is a website where people post gigs they’re willing to do for five dollars. Does it work? I dunno, but it’s a lot of fun to read through the offers: someone will burn a small paper effigy of your enemy, or send you a sock puppet, or turn a photo into a cross-stitch pattern for you. My favorite is, “I will give you $10 if you find two people to give me $5 for $5.” [More]
Weird Auto-Dialer Scam Curses At You If No Operators Are Available
By 3.22.10
There’s a strange auto-dialer message going around right now that asks you to call back for important info. When you call back, you might end up being offered lower interest rates on your credit card… or you might get a voicemail inbox where a man yells at you, “You stupid f***ing b*tch!” [More]
Visit NYC, Eat Breast-Milk Cheese
By 3.9.10
If you want to try human breast-milk cheese, make sure you stop in at Klee Brasserie in New York City the next time you visit. It’s made from the chef’s own wife, and he tells the New York Post, “It tastes like cow’s-mik cheese, kind of sweet,” and changes flavor depending on “what the mother eats.” His wife says, “The breast is there to make food.” Maybe, but I’m thinking this is a good way to shave a little off the cheese budget. [More]
Hot Dog Found At Coney Island May Be 140 Years Old, But Definitely A Hoax
By 2.25.10
Update: As several readers have pointed out, it’s a Coney Island publicity hoax, which probably explains why CNN yanked the clip. * People are calling it the caveman hot dog. Okay, nobody is calling it that. But one person interviewed by CNN News12 Brooklyn said, “That’s unbelievable, finding hot dogs that are 140 years old. That’s crazy, to me it’s crazy.” Another person said, “These things are irreplaceable, they’re priceless. And it’s great that they found it, and that it will be here for generations to come and see and learn.” [More]
Citibank Freaks Out Customers With Weird 7-Day Rule On Withdrawals, But It's Not As Devious As It Looks
By 2.22.10
Some Citibank customers recently received notice that the bank reserved the right to require 7 days written notice before authorizing a withdrawal on checking accounts. (It’s also on page 23 of Citi’s Client Manual [PDF].) As you can imagine, this freaked some people out. A Citibank rep quickly moved to clarify the rule, and he pointed out that it’s actually required by federal law for certain types of accounts, and it’s not unique to Citibank, and they don’t intend to enforce it. [More]
Adidas Launches Shoes That Double As Game Controllers
By 1.25.10
I’ve been thinking lately that my sneakers are too stupid. They don’t do anything, at least not anything video game related, which is where it matters. Adidas has recognized this problem and has announced a new “augmented reality” sneaker that you have to hold in front of your webcam in order to play special online games. [More]
In Case You Were Wondering, Here Are NYC's 6 Most Interesting Urinals
By 1.15.10
I am pleased to report that I did not do the research for this study, but instead point you to Asylum.com for the results, which include a urinal where you pee on a 52″ flat screen. [More]
Dear Luggage.com: Thanks For The Jelly Roll Pan, But I Ordered A Bag
By 1.13.10
Here’s something weird. T ordered a bag from luggage.com and got a jelly roll pan. Luggage.com doesn’t sell jelly roll pans. There is nothing they can do about this, however, except for refund the money. No bag. Enjoy the jelly roll pan. [More]
Pumpkinhead New Raisin Bran Crunch Spokesthing?
By 1.13.10
When I first watched Pumpkinhead–an Alien-style monster who’s rampaged through a few B-level horror movies–go on and on about finding inner peace and online dating, I thought of The Office. Now that I think about it, it’s probably closer in style to Aardman’s Creature Comfort animations. Either way, if you like horror movies, breakfast cereal, British accents, and very silly advertising, you’ll appreciate this clip. [More]
Preserve Your Modesty With The Pee Without Noise Stool
By 1.12.10
Guys, as you probably already know, your bathroom is currently a horrible megaphone of urination when you’re in there. Everyone can hear you! Gah! Luckily the Pee Without Noise stool will fix that right away. If you’re still skeptical, check out this copy from the product page: [More]
"Moldy Smelling" Tylenol Recalled
By 12.29.09
All TYLENOL® Arthritis Pain Caplet 100 count bottles with the distinctive red EZ-OPEN caps have been recalled after consumer complaints of “an unusual moldy, musty, or mildew-like odor that was associated with nausea, stomach pain, vomiting and diarrhea.” [More]
UPS Tells Me My Package Took 'The Scenic Route'
By 12.29.09
CMT ordered a Newegg package that took what a UPS CSR told him was a “scenic route” from California to Tennessee, seemingly circling his city before eventually meandering in. He writes: [More]
The Necky: A Smaller, Stupider Snuggie For Your Neck
By 12.22.09
The Necky is apparently for the person who keeps strangling himself when he tries to tie his scarf. There’s nothing I can write about this that would make it more absurd than it is in real life, so just go watch the video if you haven’t already. [More]
Weirdest College Scholarships Ever
By 12.17.09
ZenCollegeLife hit the books and dug up some wild examples of affirmative action, including scholarships for tall people, the left-handed and psychics. [More]
