Of all companies, ThinkGeek should know that you never taunt a sci-fi nerd with something movie related unless it really exists. Yesterday the company revealed its annual page of fake products to trick customers, including squeezable bacon spread and a “Unicorn Chaser” soft drink. The best product of all, however, was this Tauntaun sleeping bag (check out the tiny lightsaber on the zipper pull!), which sparked so much demand that the company is looking into selling it for real.
funny
Yum! Wants Feedback Only From Ancient Ones, Mummies, Civil War Veterans
By 3.30.09
Want to provide some feedback to Yum! Brands, the company behind KFC, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, Long John Silver’s, and A&W Restaurants? No matter how old you are—they go back as far as Jan 1st, 1906—they’ll tell you that you’re too young to use the “Contact Us” part of their website. Yum! is in it for the long haul, and they don’t need a bunch of jibber-jabber from hooligans like you.
Woot Wants You To Understand: You Will Get White Headphones
By 3.30.09
Do you remember Millard? He was the angry customer who demanded that Woot send him black iPod headphones to match his black iPod, and claimed to have been misled by the company. Woot is selling black iPods today and wants to make it very clear—”in case your monitor can’t display pictures, or you’re black-white colorblind”—you will receive white earbuds with your iPod. Sorry, Millard, Woot is still refusing to cooperate by inventing a black version of the Apple product.
What Is Wrong With Quiznos?
By 3.27.09
Seriously, what’s up with them? Their new ad features an oven that begs a Quiznos employee to “put it in me, Scott,” as the camera pans over what it calls a Toasty Torpedo. There’s also a subliminal flash of a periscope jutting up from the flames at one point, as our eagle-eyed reader Bbender pointed out.
KFC's Mashed Potato Bowl: Picture Vs Reality
By 3.27.09
Jay sent us this picture of a KFC Mashed Potato Bowl he purchased. It’s probably blurry in real life, too. Click through for larger, even less appetizing pics, plus a special YouTube tribute.
Everything At This Supermarket Tastes Just Like Chocolate!
By 3.25.09
Justin sent us this photo of his neighborhood Associated Supermarket in NYC, where a printing error on the latest sales posters didn’t stand in the way of putting them up. We guess it was cheaper to just run around throwing handfuls of cocoa powder on everything than to reprint them.
Invest In Canned Food And Shotguns, Gremlins Advise
By 3.25.09
Forget T-bonds, money markets, gold, or even your mattress, Gremlins have taken over the New York Stock Exchange and they know exactly where you should put all of your money. (Thanks to Jonathan!)
Madoff "Victim" Looks Strangely Like Nigerian Scammer
By 3.24.09
To help the judge decide Madoff’s sentencing, the NY AG’s office submitted 96 pages what they said were emails from his victims. I feel bad for this one guy on page 36…
Drummer Comes Up With World's Best Tiered Pricing Structure For New Album
By 3.24.09
Trent Reznor and Radiohead have been dealt a serious blow in the tiered pricing war for album releases. Josh Freese, a member of Devo and A Perfect Circle who’s also played for NIN, Sting, The Offspring, and more!, has just released his solo album today. Aside from the free single or vanilla $7 album download option, you can pay anywhere from $15 to $75,000 for increasingly more bizarre package deals.
It's Real: Reader Receives His Tentacle Grape
By 3.19.09
Last week, we wondered whether Tentacle Grape soda was a real product or a funny/tasteless joke that had turned into a scam, since people had placed orders for it with real cash and had yet to see any product. A reader named Harley emailed us to say a box of the soda just arrived at his address today, along with a condom, naturally. Because that’s just classy. He adds, “I can’t comment on the taste as I haven’t yet tried it, but I don’t think I’ll be using the condom.” Click through for a bigger pic.
This Bank Of America Sign Is Woefully Honest
By 3.17.09
Or as Holly, the tipster who took the photo, writes, “[there are] so many things right with this picture.”
"That Idiot Jeffrey" Pushes USPS Employees Too Far
By 3.16.09
Seriously, man. No pets means no pets. You are stressing these people out. Look at their handwriting, for pete’s sake. 
Dan Hesse, You Can Keep Making Commercials Forever
By 3.13.09
Tonya emailed us a video clip of a cute little piggy with a robot voice complaining about being trapped on hold. We appreciated the rant, but were even more fascinated with the technology that allowed her friend to turn a long, written diatribe into an instant cartoon. You know who needs this? Dan Hesse, shunned pitchman and CEO for Sprint! You’ll never have to stop making commercials now. Also, we’ve decided to make you British.
Is Tentacle Grape Soda Real? Because Their Shipment Dates Aren't
By 3.13.09
Really, grape soda with a tentacle hentai theme (don’t Google it if you’re not sure what we’re talking about, especially if you’re at work) just makes sense. Sex-starved tentacled monsters getting it on with anime vixens just cries out to be packaged as a grape drink and sold. But one reader, Lincoln, says he bought his own 6-pack of the drink back at the start of the year and has yet to see it.
Icon Parking Accidentally Reveals Why Their Service Is Cheap
By 3.13.09
Eli Lansey took photos of recent Icon Parking ads on NYC subway cars and posted them on his blog. They promise customers “$10 for up to 10 hours” of parking at various lots in the city. Wow, that’s a good price! On the same ad they have a help wanted section that says they’re looking for employees, “no experience necessary.” Ah.
By 3.12.09
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Our food safety problems have been solved! [The Onion]
Jack In The Box Brand Redesign Makes Juvenile Humor Much Easier
By 3.10.09
I’ve always thought “Jack in the Box” was a weird name for a fast food restaurant, but this new branding approach the company is rolling out in San Diego—where Jack HQ is located—seems like a step back. By isolating “Jack,” so much, they’re going to be sending immature people everywhere into fits of smirking. I keep imagining commercials with taglines like: “It’s time for a little Jack,” or “Hungry? Jack it!” Other than that, is it just me or does it look incredibly retro?
Check Out The New Commercial For Citibank!
By 3.9.09
Here’s what you can expect from a nationalized Citibank, courtesy of Funny or Die. NSFW warning: this thing is full of f-bombs, and even an r-mine. (Full video after the jump.)
