Imagine you’re enjoying a peaceful Sunday night of shopping at Walmart when suddenly a pair of doofuses (doofi?) choose to unleash some sort of spray that causes folks in the store to start choking and wheezing. Next thing you know, you’re being rushed out of the building with more than 100 other customers. [More]
bad consumers
Police Retweet Of Mechanic’s Request For Drugs Not So Helpful In Terms Of His Employment
By 8.16.13
The police are here to help you! Really — they’ll even retweet your request for someone to drop off marijuana at your place of employment and add a fun side comment. But the downside of all that amicable assistance is you might be out of a job as a result. And if you’re not making money, how will you pay for the drugs* you tweet about? Classic dilemma, right there. [More]
Man Asleep In McDonald’s Drive-Thru Lane Probably Just Didn’t Want To Miss Breakfast
By 8.15.13
Any night owl knows what a challenge it can be staying up late doing this that and the other thing, only to awaken at 10:27 the next morning craving McDonald’s breakfast. It’s a mad dash to the drive-thru at that point, a hectic ordeal we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy. Maybe that’s why a guy was found slumbering sweetly in the Mickey D’s drive-thru lane — perhaps he was just getting in line for breakfast so as not to miss it? [More]
Burglary Suspects Arrested After Restaurant Tells Them To Come Back Later… And They Do
By 8.14.13
The next time you’re faced with a would-be robber demanding cash, perhaps try to negotiate a more convenient time for a robbery. A restaurant in the Chicago area pulled that move when two men allegedly tried to hold up the business. Instead of handing over cash, police say the proprietor just told them to come back in an hour. Aaaaaaand they did. [More]
Got The Wrong Credit Card Returned To You At A Restaurant? Maybe Don’t Go Buy Stuff With It
By 8.13.13
One night I was momentarily blinded by the exceptional handsomeness of a bartender and walked out of an establishment with a credit card that was not my own. Aghast, embarrassed and in need of my own property/funds, I immediately called the bar to admit my mistake and promised to return the stranger’s card and swap it for mine. I did not, as one woman is accused of doing, use it to go buy stuff. Because that’s fraud and you’ll get arrested, see? [More]
Robbing The Bank Isn’t The Best Way To Turn A Negative Account Balance Into A Positive
By 8.13.13
Many banks are a one-stop shop for financial services — you need to withdraw money? Cool, do that there. Get a loan? Sure, you can ask about that. But if you’re inquiring about a negative account balance, the best way to turn that red account into a black one is not robbing the bank itself. That’s one deposit that’ll be tough to make. [More]
An Ambulance Is Not A Rental Car For When You Need A Ride Home From The Police Station
By 8.12.13
Just like 9-1-1 is not your personal complaint hotline, ambulances aren’t just roving free taxis, ready and waiting to take you home from the police station. On that note, if you’d like your arrest charges to go from something relatively measly like a misdemeanor for an open container to a slew of felony charges, stealing an ambulance from the police station will do the trick. [More]
Don’t Get All Stabby When Skipping Fellow Customers In The Drive-Thru Line At McDonald’s
By 8.9.13
When other customers are behaving badly it can be very frustrating. But we’d like to take a moment to remind you, dear readers, not to come to fisticuffs during such trying times. Or the equivalent, with knives. Knivesicuffs? In any case, cops say a woman pulled a blade on a fellow customer after he reportedly got ticked off at her for cutting (skipping, not knifing) him in the drive-thru line. [More]
Man’s Fellow Shoppers Would Appreciate It If He Kept It In His Pants While Perusing Pillow Aisle
By 8.8.13
Shopping for bedding can be quite a heady experience — all those different thread counts and pillow fillers! — but one man’s fellow shoppers at a Marshalls Home Goods store would really appreciate it if he kept the pillow-induced hanky panky at home. [More]
Penitent Burglars Return Loot To Scene Of The Crime, Along With Apology Note
By 8.8.13
What in the world would compel a suspected criminal to return to the scene of the crime — beyond a total lack of common sense? In the case of one recent burglary, after a thief realized who he or she had been stealing from, an overwhelming sense of regret appeared to prompt a return of all of the victim’s stolen goods. [More]
Man Busted For Stealing Church Computer After Insistent Searches For Porn
By 8.8.13
Having problems with that computer you just (allegedly) stole from a church? First of all, shame on you for stealing, second, if you can’t get the laptop to let you search for and view porn, calling the software company that stymied said efforts and asking it to help is going to blow your cover. [More]
4 Men Arrested In Connection With (Very Serious, Not Laughable At All) Plot To Steal $10 Sandwich
By 8.7.13
We live in a world where four people can get arrested on suspicion of burgling a sandwich. And not even a $49.99 behemoth worth its weight in french fries and melted cheese — a $10 snack pilfered from a parked car. Very. Serious. Stuff. [More]
Mad At A Verizon Worker? Don’t Lock Him In An Airless Underground Vault
By 8.7.13
In what sounds like the very worst case of “Get off my lawn!” syndrome, police say the owner of a Boston-area storage facility was so ticked off at a Verizon worker who had parked on his grass, he locked him an underground vault. And if we know anything about sealed underground chambers, it’s that they usually don’t have a lot of air. You know, for breathing. [More]
Newsflash: Trying To Sell A Woman’s Baby On Craigslist Is An Awful Dating Technique
By 8.6.13
Know why there’s no “infants” section under the For Sale category on Craiglist? That’s easy, silly — it’s because you’re not allowed to sell people, not on Craigslist, not anywhere. That’s news to one guy who was reportedly so jealous of the attention his new lady love lavished on her two-month old, he listed her for a paltry $100 on the online marketplace. He got a bite, too! From the cops. [More]
Reno Man Accused Of Chronic Dining & Dashing Habit Lands In Jail
By 8.5.13
If bad consumers need any more reason to fear the almighty power of the Internet to root out questionable behavior and turn the collective force of social media upon one’s bad deeds, look no further than the Reno man publicly shamed by Facebook. After an area restaurant accused him on Facebook last week of being a chronic dine-and-dasher, law enforcement took it a step further and sent him to jail. [More]
Customer Facebook-Shamed By Restaurant Says He’s Totally Going To Pay That $100 Tab
By 8.1.13
While we’re generally opposed to businesses calling out patrons for bad behavior or otherwise setting the social media hounds on those accused of exhibiting less than sterling consumer manners, one Reno eatery’s Facebook admonition has the diner in question owning up to his “mistake” and promising to settle a $100 tab he reportedly left unpaid. [More]
Defend Your Wendy’s Server From A Bully And Ye Shall Be Handsomely Rewarded With Free Food
By 7.31.13
Perhaps you’re one of those people who doesn’t believe in standing up for what’s right, and if so, you’re probably not going to get free food. Not like two Wendy’s customers who say that after they defended a Wendy’s worker from a big, bad bully, she rewarded them with a free Frosty each and chicken nuggets. [More]
Two Men Find $1,000 Blowing Around Parking Lot, But Only One Gives Money Back
By 7.24.13
Like a lesson in the difference between the dark and the light side of human character, two men found a wad of cash blowing around outside a Schnucks store in Missouri. One, filled with the spirit of human kindness, gathered up the money and gave it back to the elderly woman who had lost it. The other stuck around to argue but ultimately, took the money and ran. [More]
