26 Kids Who Decided Santa Claus Is Not To Be Tolerated, Proceed To Freak The Heck Out

Image courtesy of One more time, our very own Miranda Cox, daughter of Consumerist's Kate Cox.

One more time, our very own Miranda Cox, daughter of Consumerist's Kate Cox.

One more time, our very own Miranda Cox, daughter of Consumerist’s Kate Cox.

We asked, and oh boy, did we receive: For our third annual installment of holiday-induced panic on a wee scale, you, our dear readers, submitted 26 photos of your children freaking the heck out upon meeting the man in red, one Santa Cornelius Claus. Does Santa have a middle name for real? We might never know, but what we do know is that before children come to love the guy, they often want nothing better than to be as far from that jolly fellow as possible.

The headline is also a bit of a Christmas lie — we received 26 photos, to be sure, but some of them have more than one terrified child in them. And we also threw in a bonus 27th photo of one member of our Consumerist team who also had occasion to meet St. Nick, though we must say she was very well behaved.

Get comfortable by the fire with a mug of hot cocoa and your own memories of encountering the jolly stranger, as we walk down the streets of the North Pole united in Christmas solidarity.

1SarahLauren“The joys of Christmas!” Sarah writes of her daughters Grace and Lauren in Florida.

“We waited for three hours at the Americana mall in Glendale, CA so Ruby was pretty cranky when we got to the big guy!” Lindsey writes of her daughter, almost two (who happens to be making her second annual appearance, poor gal). “She was excited to see Santa while we were waiting, yelling ‘Santa!’ And telling us she wants a baby doll. But she did not enjoy being deposited on a strange man’s lap.”

Twins Rowan and Clara age 1, Gavin age 7: “I’m pretty sure the photo speaks for itself,” says dad Jared.

“These are my sons, Owen, 17 months old, and Ian, 3 1/2 years old,” writes mom Heidi. “They were so excited while standing in line for the hour wait while they checked out the Christmas decor, but the moment Owen saw Santa he flipped! When I put him in Santa’s lap, it was game over! Notice big brother, Ian’s forced smile to complete this festive photo which will be cherished for years!”

“This is Kieran, age 18 months. He was in Santa’s lap all of 10 seconds and this happened,” explains D.G.

“Here is a photo with Connor 8 months and Parker 2 years old,” writes dad Tim. “Parker is a little unsure of Santa but at least he held his composure and got a candy cane out of it.”

“My son, Thomas, got to meet Santa for the first time today (he is 5 months old) at the annual family Christmas party,” says dad Mike. “I think he was overwhelmed with all the singing and excitement of Santa’s arrival!”

“Katerina loved Santa on her first birthday, but at Disneyland on her second birthday, she wanted nothing to do with him,” Bakudai explains. “This was the closest to a good picture we got this year. She was much happier to meet Elsa.”

“Oliver is 14 months old and this was his first visit with Santa,” says dad Ed. “Based upon Santa’s expression, it is difficult to tell who wanted out of the picture worse, Oliver or Santa.”

Christian, age 1.

“Usually don’t send my kids’ photos out into the interwebs, but this one is just too good not to share,” admits Heidi. “This is my oldest, Lucy, in Dec 2009, when she was 16 months old. She is our oldest child, and our only one at the time. We had timed everything perfectly. We went during the week, so there would be a short line. She was fully rested. She was fed. And we told her all our warmest Santa stories during our walk over to Santa. And yet, this happened. I still love it.”

“Here are my niece Evelyn and my nephew Ethan,” writes Uncle Greg. “They are twin two-year-olds visiting Santa. They weren’t very happy.”

And a bonus pic of the same kids last year, similarly displeased. “They were not impressed,” their doting uncle adds.

Top pic left to right: Ben and Jack (1); Bottom pic, Ben (3), Claire (9 mos), Jack (3)
“When you compare our kids’ reactions to their first time with Santa, you quickly realize they come from the same stock,” says dad Jon.

“This is my 14-month-old daughter Brooklyn and she was very happy until she had to on his lap,” writs Baylu. “That is when the freak out began. We were at the North Park shopping mall in Dallas. She and Santa are both crying.”

Taylor, 17 months: “There was about a 90-minute wait in which our daughter, Taylor, was remarkably well behaved considering the wait,” writes Matt. “It was a Frozen theme based on the movie but she hasn’t seen any movies yet. When we got to the front, I figured we would be able to see Santa for a bit and anticipate the sit down. Unfortunately we could never visually see Santa, and so when it came to Taylor’s turn, we bring her right over, say hi, and sit her down on Santa’s lap. As pictured, it went exactly as we had expected.”

“The tears. The wails. The FISTS. The look on Santa’s face that he has been beaten down by 8+ hours of this. We love it. Its hilarious and will probably be our Christmas card photo for the next 10 years,” writes dad Patrick of his daughter Ruby in 2013.

“Kyler (age 10 months) is not a fan of Santa this year,” explains G.F.

“While my daughter Natalia (2 months) didn’t scream her head off at the sight of Santa, we did happen to catch her clear displeasure of him,” says dad Pablo. “Nothing says ‘I hate you, Santa’ than spitting up on him.”

Jack, 2: “Even after a week of practicing for the Santa visit, Jack freaked out as soon as he was with the Big Guy! After an hour of walking around, we came back and Jack was able to give Santa a High-5 and quietly tell him that he wanted a truck… but this was from about two feet away! Didn’t want to get any closer!” writes mom Jenni.

“Meet Oliver,” writes mom Stephanie. “At just 14 months old, this smarty pants knows, you just don’t take candy from strangers! This was his first time meeting Santa. His older brother stood on the sidelines and wouldn’t even get within 5 feet of Santa.”

“After many failed attempts to get our son to meet Santa my wife began to freak and was really sweating the fact he may never meet the fat fella before his big delivery day,” writes Mike of his boy Reed. “A few days before Christmas, my wife is elated to find a Santa will be at our downtown Marriott. We plan our morning around this adventure and as we approach the building we can see Santa through the window. My wife actually turns to me and whispers ‘You’ve got to be f##king sh##ting me,’ and almost starts to cry. I tell her we need to stay committed and stick to the plan. Meanwhile, I am dying with laughter inside and cannot wait to get a closer look. The line was short (no surprise) and we step up to hand off our child to a complete, poorly dressed stranger…the instant my son hits his lap he freaks. Not just “oh this sucks” freaks, a full out, this-is-the-stuff-nightmares-are-made-of freak out. I snap a couple quick pics and realized the instant it was all over I had memory gold. Please note the short, cutoff pants and leg tattoos. Priceless.”

“My two year old, Kira, got taken to Santaland at Macy’s this year by her auntie, a trip I was… looking forward to the results of,” says Ana. And sure enough, shortly after she finally got through the workshop exhibit and got to see Santa, I got the attached photo. I particularly like her ‘SAVE ME’ look, and the clinging. Although last night, in the grocery store, we walked past a cookie endcap display with a waving santa on it and she waved and went ‘Hi Santa!’ so I guess it must not have been that traumatic.”

“Here’s Santa about to slap my daughter to shut up. What do I win?” writes Marcus (joy, Marcus, you win joy. “She was two at the time (last year), and he wasn’t really about to slap her – he was waving. But the combination of him raising his arm, his open mouth ‘yelling’, and her looking at the camera trying to get the hell outta there made a great memory. As a side note, the Santa was a really patient, nice, guy. It’s just a perfectly timed photo.”

“Kylen (who is 24 months) was in great spirits and enjoyed watching all the nearby kids run around and play while we waited in line for two and a half hours to see Santa,” says mom Sarah. “When we reached the end of the line, Kylen was quite surprised to find his mommy plopping him in some strangers lap, walking away, and a lady directing him to smile. I could only imagine the conclusion his little mind formed from all the stimuli, overly happy guy in costume, and his mommy abnormally leaving his side. ”

“Attempt #1 and 2… Fail,” writes mom Alyssa of her daughter Catalina.

Consumerist dog Zoe meeting Santa, courtesy of our very own Laura Northrup. You’ve got the right attitude, Zo!

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