If you’re going to shoplift two lobster tails, two bags of shrimp, and a pork loin from a grocery store, what’s the least obvious way to do so? Shove them in your shorts, of course. A MIssissippi man is accused of shoplifting after allegedly doing just that.

Winn-Dixie employees say that the 35-year-old tried to leave the store with the lobster tails in his front pockets, the pork loin in his waistband, and the bags of shrimp in an unnamed location.

Initial news reports indicated that the man tried to leave the store with two live lobsters in his shorts, which makes a much better news story. Alas, no shoplifter is that stupid. This week.

Police update meats found in accused shoplifter’s pants [WLOX] (Thanks, Reid!)

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