That would certainly explain some things.
funny
By 9.19.08
../../../..//2008/09/19/tonights-premiere-of-its-always/
Tonight’s premiere of “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” is about cannibalism and hunting men for sport. The unfortunately-placed McDonald’s commercial halfway through the show featured a guy swinging a bat at his friend because he smells food, and then everyone else at the party swarming over the fallen friend to feast. Awkward!
"A Woman Has Needs. And Right Now, I Need This Wild Cherry Steam Thing"
By 9.18.08
The copy on this Best Buy ad sent in by tipster Jordan reads, “A woman has needs. And right now, I need this wild cherry steam thing.” Oh, it’s a washer. And a dryer too, you say? Golly! I’ll take two. Let me just give you some of these emerald rectangle monetary devices out of my ebony zippery pouch device here… Full size inside.
Continental Confuses California With NYC?
By 9.12.08
[Update: Several commenters have pointed out that “Ontario, CA” actually refers to Ontario, California, which is near L.A. And to be fair to the OP, we’re the ones who misinterpreted Ontario, not her. We’ve updated the post. Also, check out Fly Girl’s insider explanation as to what likely happened.]
Continental canceled one leg of Lesley’s flight from NYC to California without notice—she only discovered it when she went online to check that everything was okay this morning. What’s worse, however, is the alternative flight plan they proposed, which would have her going from NYC to Houston to California and immediately back to Houston to NYC again, depositing her 20+ hours later in Newark, New Jersey—where we presume a gang of Continental employees will be waiting for Lesley at the gate to beat the crap out of her with confiscated water bottles. East Coast hates West Coast, Lesley!
This Apple CSR Wants You To Learn By Doing
By 9.10.08
This chat transcript from “Yet Another Girl”‘s blog is an example of how sometimes you can find exactly the answer you’re looking for on a customer service chat. Unfortunately, in this case, you’ll do all of the work yourself while the chat agent stares numbly at the screen, wondering how did I end up here? I don’t even know what this “apple” thing is!
Decorate Your Walls For Less By Gluing Random Crap Together
By 9.9.08
My friend and I used to pretend to be crafters, and we would email elaborately ridiculous project descriptions back and forth to each other as examples of that past time gone wild. Now we must put down our imaginary glue guns and denim swatches to pay homage to Pamela Cole Harris, who does this stuff for real. Below, see what happens when a kindly scrapbooker goes insane.
By 9.9.08
../../../..//2008/09/09/you-dont-have-to-be/
You don’t have to be the Princess of Wales or a former president to have a classy cortege after you die. All you have to do is live somewhere near Kansas City. After all, you paid a lot of money for that casket, so as many people should see it as possible. [Final Ride] (Thanks to Andrew!)
These Old Ads Remind You To Drug Children And The Elderly
By 9.9.08
Sometimes gentleness is required of your toddler. Sometimes ill-tempered old folks get too agitated and threaten you with canes. That’s why sometimes the best solution is a good old fashioned thorazine pill, or a barbiturate elixir. Weirdomatic has a collection of bizarre ads like these from the past. Our favorite, aside from the drug ads, is the one showing Olympian speed skater Jack Shea taking a break from his skating to enjoy the rejuvenating effects of a Camel cigarette. So that’s how Phelps did it.
Is This The Worst "Professional" Wedding Cake Ever?
By 9.9.08
There’s a heated debate going on over at a blog called “Cake Wrecks” about whether or not this cake can possibly be “real.” We’re feeling extremely skeptical ourselves, but the blog’s author swears up and down that the pictures came from a real (outraged) bride who really hired a member of the family who was supposed to be a “professional with tons of experience” to make her wedding cake.
Rogue Sandwich Delivery Guy Wants To Tell World Not To Buy Chips
By 9.5.08
This little email from an apoplectic-sounding Jimmy John’s delivery guy just popped into our inbox and we felt the need to share it with you, our readers. The moral? Don’t buy overpriced chips.
By 9.4.08
../../../..//2008/09/04/this-wendys-frosty-is-even/
This Wendy’s Frosty is even more delicious than the one we posted about yesterday. Dear Wendy’s managers, at least mark through the word “more” if you’re going to list the total price. (Thanks to Chris!)
This Frosty Must Be Delicious
By 9.3.08
Consumerist reader David saw this awesome special in his local Wendy’s restaurant. We wonder what kind of special magic goes into a Frosty to warrant a $5.99 price increase. Bacon grease? Extra HFCS? A no-spit guarantee? A short song and dance from the cashier? Or maybe they spend the extra money on “how to label signs properly” classes for the staff.
ATT Chatbots (People?) Don't Even Pretend To Help Anymore
By 9.3.08
This unedited transcript from a recent “customer support” chat is pure, undiluted idiocy. Do not be surprised if after reading it, you feel a little dead inside, or a little stupider. That’s how you know the customer service chatbot—or person, which is kind of sad—is doing its job.
This Dollar Store Taunts You With The Past
By 8.28.08
Can there be any sadder indication of our toilet-water economy than a dollar store that references its own happier, cheaper past? This New York City dollar store has pulled down its old sign, “Everything 99¢ Or Less,” and rebranded.
Woman Removes Bra To Get Through TSA
By 8.26.08
Nancy Kates’s large underwire bra set off the metal detector in the Oakland, California airport. A TSA agent pulled her aside and patted her down, which set off Kates’ personal privacy alarm. “I said, ‘You can’t do that.’ She said, ‘We have to pat you down.’ I said, ‘You can’t treat me as a criminal for wearing a bra.'” Kates was given the option to “submit to a pat-down in a private room” or not fly. Instead, she took off her bra and passed through security just fine. Hooray for personal freedom!
Fellow Consumerist Tests Coffee Grounds Tips So You Don't Have To
By 8.26.08
We want to commend hhole for electing himself or herself guinea pig on this morning’s coffee grounds post. Apparently, hhole immediately started rubbing coffee grounds all over his or her body in order to see if it really would work as a facial scrub/hair shiner. (Of course, this only makes us want to come up with some imaginary “use” for, say, kitty litter or corn meal to see whether hhole takes the bait.) Read this intrepid commenter’s first person report below.
By 8.22.08
../../../..//2008/08/22/condom-is-a-free-ringtone/
“Condom!” is a free ringtone for your phone. It’s being promoted in India as part of a campaign to normalize condom use, but there’s no reason you can’t put it on your own phone to impress and amaze fellow diners, bus riders, church goers, etc. It’s also catchy! [Crave]
Duracell's New Ad: 'Oh No Your Kid Just Got Stolen!'
By 8.21.08
MSNBC’s Ads of the Weird blog is a little creeped out by Duracell’s new kidnapping commercial, and so are we. Making people feel bad about something is advertising’s job, we get that, but trying to scare parents into thinking their kid will be stolen from the playground by the classic man-in-a-van is going a little overboard. (Watch the commercial below.)
