I can remember being a kid and thinking the best way to get rid of paper evidence like a bad report card would be to just shove it in my mouth and eat it. Fortunately, I never got a (really) bad report card [pats self on back] so I didn’t have to employ that method, but police in New York say one driver pulled over for speeding went the route of turning possibly damning breathalyzer results into a comestible.

According to New York state police, troopers pulled over a 40-year-old man from Connecticut for speeding around 5:30 a.m. on Sunday morning, reports the Associated Press.

During the course of conversation, officers decided he was likely intoxicated, and arrested him. He was taken to the state police barracks for processing, which is apparently when he got a rumble in his stomach that could only be satisfied with paper.

Troopers say that as his breathalyzer test results were printing, the man snatched the paperwork and tried to shove it down his gullet. It seems he was ultimately unsuccessful, as he was charged with driving while intoxicated, obstructing governmental administration, and criminal tampering.

Let’s hope he at least got a glass of water to rinse out that ink flavor from his mouth, because gross.

Greenwich man tries to eat breathalyzer results: Police [Associated Press]

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.