If day-old, reheated cheese sticks and stale, slightly peppered Doritos had a baby it would be 7-Eleven’s new Doritos Loaded snack we told you about this morning.

It took little prodding to get me to walk the three blocks from my Consumerist nook in Washington D.C. to the 7-Eleven where a Twitter user first broke the news about the new snack.

I love cheese sticks and I love Doritos. So, what’s not to like about the new “warm cheese snack” being tested at 7-Eleven? Plenty, there is plenty not to like.

There’s probably a reason it’s just called a “warm cheese snack” and not melty, gooey goodness that God blessed us with. Because I’m not sure he’d give this concoction his stamp of approval.

At first glance Doritos Loaded looks like any other cheese stick, just in the typical Doritos’ triangular form. The anticipation was almost too much to handle, and then I took my first bite.

I was thoroughly underwhelmed and the texture – the texture was not appetizing. Then you look at the inside: just a glob of mushy cheese with a rim of Doritos color.

Sure there’s a hint of nacho cheese flavored Doritos and there’s something that is reminiscent of cheese. But here’s what it really tastes like: a reheated, damp cheese stick with a sprinkle of Doritos flavor and pepper.

But in no way did my package of Doritos Loaded taste anything like “Nacho Cheese Doritos dipped in queso”, as Kevin described the snack to Yahoo.

Yahoo reports the snack hit the warmer two weeks ago and is being tested at three Washington D.C.-area 7-Elevens.

I won’t be trying the Doritos Loaded again, that is unless I’m coming home from an all-night bar crawl and in desperate need of a quick kind of-cheese snack. Maybe my palette will be more forgiving, then.

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