A man in Washington state hasn’t consumed a beverage from a can in more than a year. It’s hard to blame him: he claims that more than a year ago, he discovered a mouse at the bottom of his Monster energy drink. Now he’s suing Hansen Beverage Company, the maker of Monster. His lawyer and Monster’s insurer ran tests, and independent lab results prove the mouse’s identity.

Do not read the man’s account of drinking the beverage if you have a delicate stomach or are currently eating. Click on something else and think about cupcakes.

Ready? MSNBC quotes the mouse-drinker:

“I put it down and I felt it was still heavy. So I backwashed it and all this debris went into my mouth,” he told reporters. “Then I looked in the can and I saw the tip of the tail and I vomited everywhere.”

Lab results show that there was a mouse in the can, and–stranger still–the mouse suffered no trauma, and wasn’t stuffed in the can after the customer opened it.

Monster Cable has not yet sued the rodent’s estate.

Drink label says ‘Monster,’ man says he drank mouse [MSNBC] (Thanks, Elphaba!)

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