Behold: Laser-Etched Food

Look at this picture that Kellogg’s UK posted on its Twitter feed. That’s a bunch of Corn Flakes that have been laser-etched with the Kellogg’s logo. This is the best marriage of food and language since alphabet soup.

What is the point of this? Helen Lyons, lead food technologist at Kellogg’s UK’s, is glad you asked!

In recent years, there has been an increase in the number of own brands trying to capitalize on the popularity of Kellogg’s corn flakes. We want shoppers to be under absolutely no illusion that Kellogg’s does not make cereal for anyone else. We’re constantly looking at new ways to reaffirm this and giving our golden flakes of corn an official stamp of approval could be the answer.”

This way, when you’re eating one of the most boring cereals of all time, you can be sure that it’s the real thing, not some cheap knockoff.

The internet has viewed this with skepticism, with our estranged family member Gizmodo writing, “There’s a fair chance this is a joke. Dear god, tell me this is a joke.” So we called Kellogg’s to ask if this was a joke, and they said it’s not happening… yet: “Kellogg’s UK has no immediate plans to roll out this initiative — although exploration of the capability was underway. In the US, we have no plans to roll out this initiative.”

Although we’re not really enthused about this use, we’re eager to see what other applications laser-etching will have on food. We’re picturing going out to dinner and the waiter bringing plates of food that have each diner’s face blasted onto the steak.

We will keep you updated on the development of laser gastrolexicology. If any UK readers spot these monogrammed Corn Flakes in the wild, please send us a picture and, if you purchased them, a taste test.

Thanks, Tony!

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