• Quote of the week: “Dismissing this case at the outset would sacrifice liberty for no apparent enhancement of security.” [HoustonChronicle] “Judge Refuses to Dismiss EFF’s Spying Lawsuit Against US Government”
the news
The News; Uniquely Toxic and Loving It
• Apparently, Florida is at a bit of a risk for grapefruit bruising. [CT] “State Farm to hike Florida rates 53%”
The News; Unhealthy Alliances
• Breeze felt in the windy city. [LAT] “United Airlines to Move Head Office to Chicago From Suburb”
The News; High Interest Charged For Lending Of Ears
• Home field advantage. Shortness of breath ensues amongst the 16,000 coat-tail hopefuls, causing them to reach for their pills. [LAT] “Verdict Bolsters Merck’s Vioxx”
The News; Enron Curses All Who Penetrate Its Tomb
• Personally, we’re a slut for love. [NYT] “The Taming of the Slur”
The News; Whiskered, Stone Ground Finish
• For a dollar under a hundred, you can get the trifecta of Comcast fuckover! [CT] “Comcast offers bundled service for $99 a month”
All The News That’s Fit To Self-Immolate
• It’s like that children’s game, would you rather have your hip disintegrate, or your jaw? [CT] “Lawyers gear up to attack Fosamax”
The News Wins a Kosher Kitchen
• Ebay prez pledges to get rid of those 95 cent items with $50 shipping costs. [Ebay]
The News; Supermarket Struck By White Lightning
• You know what they say about giving it away, it makes people think it’s worthless, which in this case is absolutely correct. [CT] “AOL May Offer Some Services Free”
• Glad to hear you finally escaped the cellar and got that slough cleaning job you’ve always dreamed of. [NYT] “Jobless Claims Fall Slightly”
• The sky’s price for friendliness just got $10 more expensive. [CT] “Price Of Flying Takes Skyward Turn Again”
• Globalization died last week of prostate cancer. It was 81. [NYT] “Theodore Levitt Dead”
• The one divorce that really is the kid’s fault. [LAT] “Amazon Opens Toy Store After Toys R Us Ruling”
• Albertson’s, it’s your store, Mr. Aryan Nation. [LAT] “Albertsons Sued Over Racial Discrimination” [More]
The News; Bury My Lump of Coal Under the Old Apple Tree
• BP oil contains black soylent green. [CT] “Jackson Leads Anti-BP March Near Refinery”
The News is Too Short to Ride
• JetBlue, Continental, ranked a mile high above competition. [LAT] “JetBlue Gets Top Ratings in Survey”
The News is Full of Sweet, Sweet, Bitter Ironies
• Sometimes it’s best to let headlines speak for themselves. [LAT] “Hooters’ Benefit for L.A. Animal Services Is a Bust”
The News; The Devil Wears Ketchup
• Congressmen shocked and outraged to find porn on internet. [NYT] “Internet Companies Divided on Plan to Fight Pornography”
The News; The Beat My Child Porn Skipped
• Maybe they should bring in Snoop Dogg, too. [CT] “GM goes back to 0% plan”
The News Sexually Assualts the Senses
• Minions of Cinderfella? [New Orleans City Business] “Transvestite crime gangs pester Magazine Street owners”
The News; Dance Like Nobody’s Buying
• The Googleplex paid him off in lifetime supply of candy, hair combings. [LAT] “Lawmaker’s Porn Suit Against Google Dropped”
The News; Clunkers & Claptrap
• Now your Vonage bill will come with a boonies subsidy fee, just like grownup telcos. [NYT] “Net Phone Service Providers Are Told to Pay Subsidy Fee”
The News; Impotent Indignation
• The news is not that a data breach at VISA had a data breach that caused consumer’s debit cards to get stolen, it’s that they’re actually finally formally announcing it. “Visa Says ATM Breach May Have Exposed Data” [CT]