Trans-Atlantic candy gram from Mr. John Brownlee, Esq. to Lord Ben Popken, Editor. Remember the readers tag? Stop. You still need to remember to fucking use it. Exclamation point. End communication. Pay the boy, it’s COA.
psa
Monday Morning Reminder: Feel Good Wankery
By 5.8.06
Here at the Consumerist, we like saying this is your site a lot — the ballooing war cry that tickles an avalanche of tips and complaints from the glaciers of your consumer dissatisfaction. Not only does it allow us to get paid for your hard work, but it also happens to be a good example of feel good wankery that’s actually true. A lot of times, we think of ourselves less as editors as moderators of a consumer awareness forum where customers (pleased, homicidal or indifferent) can share their experiences with one another. And we’re always pleased when we can actually help you get satisfaction, either by putting our paws into the mess ourselves or by giving your issue a wider audience of expertise.
Monday Morning Reminder: We Want To Be Your Superhero
By 4.17.06
We’re going to be trying something new at the Consumerist. We’d like to help you guys out more. Whether that’s doing some research to get you a hard-to-get phone number to resolve a customer service issue, point you in the direction of consumerist services or agencies that can help you, or even interceding on your behalf. We’ve been making some stabs over the last week at doing just that and we’d like to experiment more with helping you guys out in your blackest night going forward.
Superman Hates, Kills Smokers
By 4.17.06
For your Monday Morning Bemusement, Superman takes on Nick O’Teen, insidious Irish personification of underage smoking.
Monday Morning Reminder: Complain To Us!
By 4.10.06
We can never get enough complaints. Well, we can when they are about us: every one of those huffy “I’m offended!” emails you guys send to us puts a mortal pang into the ichorous core of our black, black hearts. After all, certainly every individual has a god given right to walk out of the house every day and be confident that they will not have their delicate sensibilities ruffled. We understand that; we relate. We appreciate your concerns!
Monday Morning Reminder: Write Us!
By 3.27.06
Just our Monday Morning Reminder that we want your tips, experiences, complaints, comments, suggestions, criticisms, naked pictures, death threats, bank account details… just about anything you’re willing to send us over at tips@consumerist.com.
Bike Safety Ad That’ll Crack Your Skull
By 3.13.06
“Be careful when transporting fragile goods,” reads the copy.
Monday Morning Reminder: Consumerist Wants Your Tips
By 3.13.06
Just a reminder that if you’ve found a story you’d like to see here, have an anecdote (bad or good) about a company or just want to give feedback about the tone and direction of this site, The Consumerist wants to hear from you.
Reading Consumerist Makes You Blind, More Fundable
By 3.7.06
We know our template sucks. It looks as if it was withdrawn from the chthonic bung hole of the smelliest goth web designer who ever laced skull barrettes through his or her armpit hair. In our defense, we’ve been saying it sucks ever since it was foisted upon us by the capricious whim of our Gawker overlords. Only now are they willing to admit it’s terrible. But in some ways, the site design has paid off for us: judging from the volume of the outraged response from our occularly-challenged readers in response to this piece, we have a lot more blind readers than the other Gawker sites, which is a target demographic Gawker has before now had problems reaching. But still, we know it’s ugly, and we know that it has had dire impact on the aesthetic self-respect of our sighted readers.
Monday Morning Reminder: tips@consumerist.com
Just a Monday Morning reminder that Gawker has two starving bloggers to feed in The Consumerist and we simply can not feed both ourselves and Ben Popken’s Eraserhead-like progeny without hearing from our readers.