It seems like a very long time ago that the phrase “Black Friday” referred to the day after Thanksgiving, an important but scary day in the retail calendar that kicked off the Christmas shopping season. Isn’t that still supposed to be the case? Not according to marketers, who have now expanded Black Fridays to every month of the year, because why not? [More]
marketing
Have A Very Hyundai Christmas, In Late August
By 8.30.13
Maybe they sent out the wrong mailing at the wrong time. Maybe they’re planning way ahead. Or maybe Gabriel’s local Hyundai dealership is putting whatever random crap gets people to open messages from them in the subject lines of their e-mails. In Gabriel’s case, it worked. He opened it. [More]
Newegg, Gap Beg Customers Not To Relegate Them To Gmail’s ‘Promotions’ Tab
By 8.16.13
Even though some early studies have showed that Gmail’s recent effort to put all of our marketing e-mails in one folder for us hasn’t really affected response rates for the businesses that blast us with e-mails, some companies are desperate to persuade us to keep them in our inboxes. Desperate enough to walk us through changing our e-mail preferences. [More]
Gmail’s Tabbed Layout: Won’t Someone Think Of The Marketers?!
By 8.15.13
Back in May, Gmail introduced a new way to sort our inboxes, automatically assigning messages to different tabs. The default setting sticks marketing emails into a “promotions” folder that you can ignore entirely if you want to. Seems like a great idea…unless you’re the person sending out those e-mails. [More]
No One Has Marketed The Hell Out Of The Tooth Fairy, Until Now
By 7.23.13
Visits from the Tooth Fairy are, by their nature, a commercial transaction. Many families buy or make special under-pillow holders that make it easier for the overnight visitor to find the teeth she (or he) is after and leave behind some cash. What the Tooth Fairy lacked was a coordinated marketing campaign with an online game, books, costumes, toys and other merch. Until now. [More]
JetBlue Gets Burned By Hot Weather Promotion
By 7.19.13
As the Mid-Atlantic settles in for what must be the 623rd straight day of searing-hot temperatures, the folks at JetBlue are learning that maybe they shouldn’t rely on Mother Nature to cooperate when planning a promotional discount. The airline has had to pull the plug on an ill-conceived weather-related offering after too many people signed up. [More]
Budweiser ‘Buddy Cup’ Lets You Facebook Friend Someone By Clinking Glasses For Some Reason
By 4.29.13
Sure, you could take your smartphone with you when you go out drinking, take some bleary-eyed selfies, and use the Facebook app to add all of your new friends to your Facebook friends page. Or you could try Budweiser’s Buddy Cup, a bar glass that we’re hoping is only a novelty item. It lets you send a friend request to anyone you clink glasses with while out drinking. [More]
Why Do We Do The Whole Diamond Engagement Ring Thing, Anyway?
By 3.27.13
It’s sparkly, it’s clear or it’s colored, it’s cut in more ways than one person could dream up, it sits on your finger like a golf ball or a just-the-right-size bauble, it’s a girl’s best friend — twinkling alongside many a wedding proposal has been a diamond. And a lot of the time, these chunks of bling cost a pretty penny. So why do we do have this shiny ritual? (And someone please explain how a diamond can be a best friend? It can’t even talk.) [More]
Oxygen Products, Oxygen Products, Everywhere! But Can It Really Get Into Your Skin?
By 1.9.13
The thing about oxygen is, we all need it to survive and thus, we all agree it’s a pretty good thing. No one’s like, “Oh yeah, oxygen? I’ll pass.” As something that is essential to our existence, companies have caught on to its universal appeal and have increasingly been marketing products promising infusions/boosts/bursts/whathaveyou of oxygen that ostensibly are good for your skin, because oxygen is so awesome. [More]
Comcast Launches Marketing Campaign To Get Across What The Heck Xfinity Is
By 7.27.12
Comcast is a cable company. But what is Xfinity? Initially, we thought it sounded like a great name for a porn company, but it’s actually the brand name of the various products that Comcast offers. Of course, there’s XFINITY Internet. (Yes, they use all caps.) Cable television is XFINITY TV. Home security systems are XFINITY HOME. Phone service is called XFINITY Voice. Despite Comcast spending $640 million in the last two years advertising the brand, experts say that most consumers still don’t really understand what “Xfinity” represents. Their solution? More ads. [More]
This HDMI Cable Represents The Edge Of Human Stupidity
By 7.26.12
We’d like to believe that the packaging for this HDMI cable is the victim of poor translation or some kind of misunderstanding. We sincerely hope that no one working in the consumer electronics industry believes that digital video is susceptible to viruses, those viruses cause noises, and that you can fend them off with a nice coating of Mylar. But we’ve had to deal with the public, and know better. [More]
HD Contact Lenses Will Increase The Resolution Of Your Eyeballs
By 3.30.12
I just got back from a long-overdue visit to the local vision-correction emporium, where I learned that for all these years, I’ve been fumbling through life only able to see 480 lines of resolution through my contact lenses. But now there are HD contact lenses. Bausch & Lomb’s PureVision2 HD lenses have been out for some time now, and I’m just learning about this upgrade to reality now. [More]
Verizon: You Totally Need This Unnecessary FiOS Upgrade
By 3.21.12
Verizon really wants Sean to sign up for FiOS. Really, really wants him to sign up. He’s happy kicking it old-school with a regular old copper landline, and dumping the barrage of FiOS ads in the trash. So it was interesting when he got a letter apologizing for nonexistent “service issues” in his area and urging him to upgrade to the newer, shinier fiber optic network. The letter assures him that he can totally keep his current phone plan at its current price – even though the equivalent plan under FiOS is cheaper. [More]
How Giving To Charity Can Be Like Getting Your Name And Number Scrawled On A Bathroom Wall
By 3.19.12
Gifts to many charities can backfire, placing you on hit lists for other organizations that share information about their networks of benefactors. A donation can place you in the crosshairs of other companies in need of donations, bombarding you with cold calls and mailings and making you feel like the object of one of those “for a good time, call XXX” messages etched on bathroom stalls. [More]
Stephen Colbert Mocks Marketingspeak By Cramming Face With 17 Wheat Thins
By 2.24.12
Have you ever wondered about the specific brand rules that regulate product placement and on-air sponsorships of products on TV? Yeah, us either. Until Stephen Colbert spent the entire second act of his show last night dissecting and mocking a memo from Nabisco spelling out precisely how Wheat Thins can be consumed and presented on the program. [More]
Packaging Vs. Reality: Kraft Macaroni And Cheese Cups
By 2.9.12
Jay is smart, and knows that packaged food never quite turns out the way it looks on the box. It’s not physically possible. But he was surprised, when cooking a pre-packaged cup of Kraft macaroni and cheese from Costco, that the quantity of food-like substance in the cup didn’t really measure up to what was shown on the box. Is he overreacting, or is this really an unrealistic portrayal of the food product within? [More]
How Deep Does A Discount Have To Be For Before You Call It A "Good Deal?"
By 11.9.11
A study of “Groupon addicts” asked them to specify how low a markdown had to be before they considered it a “good deal.” These were some pretty tough customers. How do their standards match up to yours? [More]
Proponent Of Costing Banks More Money By Mailing Back Weighted Business Reply Envelopes Defends His Cause
By 11.4.11
Earlier this week I wrote about a viral video that promised you could “Keep Wall Street Occupied” by sending back credit card business reply envelopes stuffed with anti-corporate messages and wooden shims. The video said this would increase mailing costs for the banks and force them to engage in a dialogue with their customers. Responding to my review where I called this idea “terrible,” the video’s maker sent me a note defending his campaign. [More]
