What does it mean to be human? What defines our humanity? Writer Clive Thompson pondered these questions one night recently as he was being solicited by an online chatbot over AIM trying to get him to go to her sexy webcam site. [More]
funny
Match.com Thinks You Have 7-Year Itch
By 5.20.11
After years of happy marriage, Match.com has decided that one of our readers has probably had enough and emailed them a selection of potential mates. Our reader met the man they would eventually marry on Match.com in 2001 and both of them believed they deleted their profiles together in 2002. In 2005, they were married. But using sophisticated algorithms, Match.com has tried to hook our reader up again. Maybe there’s a built-in 7-Year Itch protocol that automatically detects when you’ve hit the 7-year mark and would potentially be interested in the dating site’s services again? [More]
Allstate Running Ad Next To Rapture Story Is Genius
By 5.19.11
Next to a CNN news story about how The Rapture is predicted to occur this Saturday reader Ed noticed a little ad for Allstate insurance. (According to some beliefs, The Rapture is when Jesus returns to the Earth and pulls up all the chosen in the air to meet him and get whisked away to heaven. Then some really bad stuff happens down here.) The copy reads, “When it happens, you’re in good hands.” While no doubt the placement is accidental, and part of the effect comes from the intentionally vague and all-encompassing tagline, one does start to wonder how Allstate insurance could help out during the End of Days… [More]
SNL Spoofs Smarmy Corn Syrup Ads
By 5.16.11
SNL this week parodied those ridiculous and condescending “truth about corn syrup” ads the industry put out last year. You know, the ones where a person tells another person, “oh, that’s corn syrup, you know what that’s about” and then is unable to back up the claim with any data. They then promptly crumble under the other person’s withering logic and stream of facts about how corn syrup is awesome. [More]
Inside A "Big Food" Product Development Meeting
By 5.12.11
Where do they come up with all those great ideas to make 500 different snack foods out of the same four crappy ingredients and then try to trick us into thinking they’re healthy? This amusing xtranormal video takes you inside a hypothetical product development meeting at a “Big Food” company. It starts off slow but then delivers hit after hit as they skewer each of the different labeling and ingredient tactics food manufacturers use, like adding Vitamin D to Cheetos and saying they “support healthy bones.” [More]
A Tearful Breakup Letter To The Credit Card Company
By 5.10.11
Jon Acuff cut up all his credit cards and cancelled all his accounts. He thought was enough to end his relationship with his credit card company. But one of them wasn’t quite ready to move on. They sent him a letter that was oddly close to something a spurned lover begging for another chance might send. “They hadn’t heard from us in a while and just wanted to see how we were doing, writes Jon. “They promised that they’d change if we took them back. Things would be different this time.” That got Jon thinking that he should write a letter back in the same vein to give their relationship total closure. [More]
What If You Actually Lived Inside IKEA?
By 5.9.11
Christian went on a trip to IKEA with his buddies and began to imagine, as many have upon seeing the different “sets” around the store recreating rooms in a house fully furnished by IKEA furniture, what would it be like if you actually lived inside the IKEA store? Since he’s a really good photographer, he and his pals then staged a series of delightful photos bringing this concept to life. Very fun way of bringing IKEA’s marketing metaphor to its literal conclusion. It also reminds me of this short sitcom about a family that lives in IKEA that came out last year. [More]
An Open Letter To You From An Employee At A Liquidating Bookstore
By 5.6.11
Have you ever wondered what goes through the mind of a clerk behind the register at your favorite bookstore which is being liquidated in a bankruptcy sale? What do they make of all of it? What are their hopes and dreams? Are they just mentally picturing making everyone’s head explode? Well nows your chance to plumb those depths, as McSweeny’s has published a humorous open letter written by an employee at one of these stores *cough* Borders *cough*. [More]
Logos Redesigned For What The Company Actually Does
By 5.4.11
For fun and whimsy, graphic designer Viktor Hertz took a crack at reworking some famous company logos so they more accurately depict what the company is all about. C’mon, let’s get real people. YouTube is not about putting “you” on the “tube” — it’s the world’s largest repository of cat videos! The rest of the satire, more of which can be found here, speaks for itself. [More]
What If Someone Told Edison About The iPhone?
By 4.21.11
What would have happened if someone from the future traveled back in time to tell Thomas Edison about the iPhone? What would he have done? This cute comic from reader Ken Fager explores the possibilities… [More]
Make The Telemarketer Repeat Themselves A Zillion Times Until They Hang Up
By 4.15.11
Now this is how you mess with a telemarketer. Reader areaman in the comments on “Annoy Telemarketers Into Leaving You Alone” pointed out this clip of comedian Jim Florentine taking on one of those debt consolidation companies. She keeps trying to read through her pitch and he keeps insisting that there was a part in it he didn’t hear and makes her go over it again and again. “No, no, before that,” is his constant refrain. She tries to soldier on but eventually hangs up in frustration. Classic. [More]
Annoy Telemarketers Into Leaving You Alone
By 4.15.11
Larry’s company was deluged with calls from this one telemarketing scam outfit. They tried everything to get rid of the buggers but they wouldn’t quit. So his company decided to annoy them. [More]
Brian Regan Doesn't Know How To Use UPS
By 4.15.11
Comedian Brian Regan talks about how he’s really bad at using UPS. If you’ve ever wondered why UPS operators sound like they’re both bored and on the verge of killing you, it’s because of jackasses like this who call up and give fake information because they’re too lazy/stupid to figure out how to perform basic measurements. Is it really that hard to weigh yourself on a scale, then weigh yourself on a scale holding the box, then subtract your weight from the you + box weight? But once you get past the basic “customer is a moron” premise, the bit is pretty funny. [More]
Tajazzle Bedazzles Your Intimate Areas
By 4.14.11
This is an incredible infomercial for “Tajazzle,” a “3-step system of personal confidence” whose third step is a crystal tattoo that you place in an area “only your lover can find.” Everything from the product itself, to the cheesy actors super committed to being super sensuous, is hilarious. [More]
"What Is A Photocopier" Spans 10 Pages In Deposition
By 3.21.11
Do you know what a photocopier is? Congratulations, you are smarter than the acting head of information technology for the recorder’s division of the Cuyahoga County fiscal office. At least that’s what this dialog between him and a plaintiff’s lawyer, suing over “whether deeds and other records at the county recorder’s office…should be readily available at reasonable cost,” would lead you to believe. [More]
Domino's Pizza Ads Smack Of Desperation
By 3.11.11
Does Domino’s seem a little desperate lately? A little too eager to prove that they’re listening to your negative tweets about the pizza quality, and not putting boogers in the pies? Like that commercial where they talk all those customers who think they’re complaining about the ingredients inside a focus group room, but then they’re actually in the farmer’s field where the tomatoes come from! Because absolutely nothing happens in the process between getting that tomato to the local pizzeria. Nope, they just send it via pneumatic tube. The comedians at UCB have noticed the earnest tone and made a lil parody video to skewer Domino’s for daring to try to change. Free salad topoff via helicopter, anyone? [More]
Continental Flight Delayed 3 Hours By Broken Toilet In First Class
By 3.7.11
A malfunction in the toilet in first-class caused a Continental flight to leave three hours behind schedule this morning. It was initially reported by that the toilet was backed up and no plunger could be found, but an airline spokeswoman later refuted that. Plungers aren’t used to repair toilets, she said. “It’s not a toilet like you have at your home. It’s a mechanical process to repair the lavatory.” The earlier report had said that no plunger could be found at the airport and someone had to be sent off grounds. [More]
How Delta Made Enemies Of Standup Eugene Mirman
By 3.7.11
I stumbled across this clip of standup comedian Eugene Mirman describing how Delta Airlines became his enemy. It all started when they lost his bag and at the counter they looked at his ticket and asked him if his name was “Barbara Riddle.” He said no and then they proceeded to deliver Ms. Riddle’s bag to his house, twice, before finally giving up and telling him he’d have to file a claim for his luggage. Fast-forward to 5:57 to hear him tell the tale and read aloud the hate letter he wrote them as a result. [More]
