Look, we’re not going to sit here and pretend to know a lot about parenting. But unless Ambras syndrome runs in your family, we can’t imagine why you need to teach your 7-year-old how to shave a baby. The toy tattoo gun actually looks like a lot of fun, though.
children
Play Doh Ads Make Crying Out For Help Fun
By 9.16.09
These Play Doh ads from Singapore don’t seem to be aimed at kids. Then again, the message “safe no matter what you make” seems to be aimed directly at parents of kids who play with Play Doh, which leads us back to our initial thought, which is wtf kind of kid requiring parental supervision is shaping eerily realistic looking bottles of pills and razor blades for fun? Play Doh, the fun sad toy that tastes like tears!
Parents Sue Dunkin' Donuts After Rogue Hash Brown Burns Toddler
By 9.13.09
Continuing this weekend’s unintentional theme of “toddlers and food service,” today we bring you the sad tale of a Quincy, Mass. 23-month-old whose parents are suing Dunkin’ Donuts after he was burned by a hash brown. A hash brown that fell out of his mouth and onto his neck.
Restaurant Calls Rowdy Toddler "Little F***er" On Family's Receipt
By 9.12.09
Did you think that a restaurant using the code “bogo bitches” to refer to coupon-using customers was bad? Well, a Cactus Joe’s restaurant in England can top that. A new menu item called ‘Thankyyou littell f***er'” appeared on a family’s receipt after their child acted up during a long wait for food.
Mattel, Primary Reason For Toy Safety Law, Gets Exempted From It
By 8.28.09
When the CPSIA—the toy safety law that requires independent lab tests on toys—was passed, a lot of smaller toy manufacturers complained that it was really a dirty trick by the big toy companies to increase overhead for the small ones. Now comes word that the government has secretly exempted Mattel from the law’s testing requirements—even though Mattel was responsible for 6 lead-tainted toy recalls in 2007.
Over 5 Million Window Treatments Recalled Today, While Nation's Peeping Toms Celebrate*
By 8.27.09
Three children have died after being strangled in the cords of window blinds, so today six companies announced a massive recall of several brands of window treatments.
Water Bottles Marketed To BPA-Fearing Parents Contained BPA All Along
By 8.23.09
I may as well attach my Nalgene bottles to myself with steel cables, but it seems like everyone is switching over to metal bottles because of the public’s new-found fear of plastic additive bisphenol-A (BPA.) One of the major manufacturers of aluminum bottles, Sigg, recently admitted that the plastic liners of their metal bottles kind of, um, contained BPA. Cue uproar.
Pool Toy Burns Kids, Kids Strike Back
By 8.11.09
Sad but true: the Banzai Alligator Pool isn’t all that it seems. Brennan Donnellan and his kids were excited to come across the pool on sale at Kmart. But hopes for fun in the sun were crushed upon discovering that the pool was much smaller than the one pictured on the package.
Want To Raise A Kid? You'll Need $300k
By 8.6.09
The new government estimates are out on child rearing, and now “a middle-income family can expect to spend $291,570 including inflation to raise a child born in 2008 to adulthood” (not including childbirth or college), reports Reuters. In today’s dollars, it works out to between $11,000 and $13,000 annually. If you’re planning on having a family in the future, here’s another incentive to get your financial house in order first—take control of your debts and spending, learn how to budget, and start saving. You’re going to need it, unless you can score a reality show on basic cable.
By 8.4.09
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Hey, kids! Get up off the couch, go outside, and maybe drink a glass of milk once in a while. A study published in the scientific journal Pediatrics shows that 70% of children studied had “insufficient” Vitamin D levels, or an outright deficiency. [Consumer Reports Health] [Pediatrics]
Mom Drags Kid Through Verizon Store On Leash
By 8.3.09
Dear kid of abusive mom: yes, this is what it feels like for us when we deal with cell phone retailers, too. At least your mom was arrested. Video below.
Teen Finds Cocaine In CVS Candy Aisle
By 7.24.09
A 14-year-old in Middleburg, Florida, went to buy some Skittles at a CVS and found a small bag of cocaine next to the candy. Police have reviewed the security tapes, but say the store’s cameras don’t cover the candy aisle. As if sugar doesn’t make them hyper enough already.
By 7.22.09
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Here are 10 kids’ food items that are not very healthy, including Goldfish Crackers, Fruit By The Foot, and Sunny Delight. [Time]
By 7.17.09
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You mean I don’t need a $900 stroller? Perhaps this is a sign that perhaps the recession is dragging everyone back to something approaching reality. Even affluent American parents are buying secondhand items or using hand-me-downs for their children. [New York Times]
Delta Screws Man Out Of Family Trip, Business Conference, WSJ Interview, And Two Flights
By 7.15.09
Wow, the folks at Delta really must hate the creative director behind and star of those UPS whiteboard commercials, Andy Azula. On the open letter he published today, he notes that he’s a frequent-flyer with Platinum status on Delta, and until this past June one of their “biggest fans.” Then Delta forced him, his wife, and his twin seven-year-olds to wait 13 hours in the Richmond, VA airport, while their luggage remained trapped on a plane that was forever “almost fixed.”
By 7.8.09
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More than one million play yards made by Kolcraft and sold under a variety of names have been recalled. Brands include Kolcraft, Carter’s, Sesame Street, Jeep, Contours, Care Bears and Eric Carle. There’s a problem with the side rail, and children can fall out. Check to see if yours is affected at the CPSC.
Recall Roundup – Pretty Much Everything Is Catching Fire
By 7.3.09
The big news in recalls this week was continuing recalls of Simplicity drop-side cribs. Since the company is no longer in business, in order to get the crib away from your children, return it to the retailer where it was purchased. Also, check your home for other problematic recalled Simplicity products.
Credit Card Companies Return To Soliciting Children, Household Pets For Cards
By 7.1.09
I’m pleased to announce that the credit crunch is officially over. I’m basing this on a credit card solicitation sent to a Mr. Lazarus H. of Iowa. Lazarus, pictured at left, is seven years old.
