McDonald’s: Taking his cue from both Cheeseburger Josh and that irritating “Gimme That Filet-o-Fish” ad, a dude in South Brunswick, NJ, got so impatient with the service at the drive-thru that he crawled through the window, slapped the employee and then escaped with his precious fish sandwich.

Starbucks: A Daly City, CA, police officer faces jail time for demonstrating how to slit someone’s throat with a knife… while enjoying a coffee at Starbucks. [Mercury News]

KFC: Remember that bronze bust of Colonel Sanders that was stolen from outside a Berea, KY, KFC? Well, the world can rest easy because the statue has been recovered following a joint effort of the Berea and Independence, KY, police forces, both of whom will share the $500 free chicken reward. [MarketWatch]

Taco Bell: Drive-thru cashiers should be getting hazard pay. Yet another Taco Bell has been held up from the convenience of the thieves’ car. But unlike last week’s heist in Charlotte, these crooks got away with more than some apple empanadas. [WSBTV]

Domino’s Pizza: It’s not just the drivers at Domino’s that are at risk. An employee at a Domino’s in Hickory, NC, was forced into the store’s cooler while two robbers had their way with the cash register. [WBTV]

Dick’s Drive-In: A 73-year-old man is being charged with a DUI after attempting to drive through a Dick’s Drive-In in the Lake City area of Seattle. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

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