Ed wrote to Georgia-Pacific about its grocery shrink ray zapping of Quilted Northern toilet paper. The company consoles Ed and all his fellow wipers by saying the sheet count is only “slightly reduced:”

Thank you for contacting the Georgia-Pacific Consumer Response Center. Georgia-Pacific places tremendous importance on the opinions we receive from our customers. We understand you may have some concerns about the roll width and/or sheet count of Quilted Northern Soft & Strong(r). As noted at the bottom of the package, Quilted Northern Soft & Strong(r) is about 1/2 inch narrower than before, and we have slightly reduced the sheet count.

Because of today’s economy, cost is a factor. We made the decision to slightly reduce the roll to bring you the bathroom tissue you trust and not raise our price to retailers. Quilted Northern Soft & Strong continues to provide the cleanliness and comfort you have come to expect, making it a great value in today’s economy. As always, Quilted Northern Soft & Strong(r) is thick, absorbent, and gentle on your skin. The bathroom tissue features strength and durability for cleanliness, with softness and thickness for comfort. With Quilted Northern Soft & Strong(r), you do not have to compromise comfort for clean.

In fact, we’ve heard from many of our most loyal customers about how important the quality of our bathroom tissue is to them. For more than 100 years, consumers have trusted Quilted Northern Soft and Strong(r) to deliver what they want most in a bathroom tissue: cleanliness and comfort. We would never make this change if our core consumers didn’t approve of the product.

We’re sorry you are disappointed with the changes we’ve made to the roll size of Quilted Northern Soft & Strong(r). Georgia-Pacific is committed to providing the best quality products. Unfortunately, we are unable to offer a money back guarantee or product redemption at this time.

Georgia Pacific Consumer Products LP is committed to continuous product improvement and providing a variety of products to serve you. If you have further questions or comments, please contact us at our toll free number: 1-800-2TELLGP (1-800-283-5547) or e-mail us at: gpcrc@gapac.com. You may also visit our website at http://www.gp.com. Thank you.

In a time where consumers are both watching their dollars shrink and their asses grow, this seems an especially un-smooth move.

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