Courtney had some questions about an order she wanted to place with Jansen Medical Supply of Houston. Their website offers large discounts on medical equipment and chairs that automatically dump grandma on the floor when it’s time for her to leave. What they don’t offer, however, is answers. Courtney found out the hard way, and we’re not sure but we think she’s been banned from ordering from them. Well, unless she disguises her voice and calls back.

Note that this isn’t a verbatim transcript, so take the whole thing with a grain of salt. It’s still pretty funny and rude, though.

I just had the strangest customer service phone call. I was about to place an order for 20 Air-Eze Deep Breathing Devices (because I am a voice teacher, and I use them to help my students strengthen their breathing.) I called the toll-free customer service number at Jansen Medical Supply, who claims on their website to be the most respected company in their field. Here is how the conversation went:

Me: Hi! I need to order some Air-Eze Deep Breathing Incentive devices, but I had a couple of questions first.

JMS: We don’t answer questions.

Me: Really?

JMS: You need to speak with a respiratory therapist about your questions.

Me: Oh, no! I don’t have any questions about the devices, just about ordering them.

JMS: We don’t answer ANY questions.

Me: (Thinking the guy is pulling my leg…) Are you kidding?

JMS: I am not kidding. We don’t answer questions.

Me: (Still thinking the guys is joking…) You can’t be serious.

JMS: I am DEAD SERIOUS.

Me: (Inquiring…) So, then, why do you answer the phone? You are the customer service representative. What do you usually do when you pick up the phone?

JMS: (no answer…this obviously made him mad)

Me: Well, then, I am not quite sure what to do. I need to place a large order and you won’t answer my questions.

JMS: You will not be placing a large order with us.

Me: I won’t?

JMS: We don’t want your money. You need to take your business elsewhere.

Me: What? May I please speak with your manager?

JMS: Missy, you need to go away. You need to go away right now.

And then he hung up. That was the funniest and strangest customer service call I have ever made. Thought you might find it humorous. After the call, I went back to their website which states that they have a “Toll free customer service line to answer all your questions.” Obviously not.

We contacted Jansen Medical and sent them a copy of the exchange, and asked what was going on. Naturally, since that was a question, they have chosen to ignore us.

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.