Microsoft Releases Dirty Santa Chatbot On Unsuspecting Children!

Oh noes! The children! Microsoft released a Santa bot on its Windows Messenger network that had a surprising predilection for swinging the conversation to oral sex.

Here is the text from a test chat The Register engaged in, after finding out from a distraught reader that RoboSanta was being inappropriate to his nieces:

El Reg says: Eat it
Santa says: You want me to eat what?!? It’s fun to talk about oral sex, but I want to chat about something else…
El Reg says: You dirty bastard!
Santa says: I think you’re dirty bastard.

You can try it yourself, but Microsoft has already removed this feature from the bot’s brain. Now, when you try to talk about oral sex, Santa replies, “Let’s talk about something else, like what you want for Christmas.” As if the two subjects are mutually exclusive!

“Microsoft’s sex-obsessed RoboSanta spouts filth at children” [The Register] (Thanks to japacooney!)
(Photo: Getty)


Edit Your Comment

  1. XXX888XXX says:


  2. Dead Wrestlers Society says:

    My name is Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. Why don’t you have a seat. Have a seat right over there.

  3. forgottenpassword says:

    Well, its nice to know that santa is like everyone else… and often likes to chat about oral sex.

    …. you kiss mrs clause with that mouth?!

  4. ElizabethD says:

    LMAO. Sometimes it’s more fun when things go wrong…

  5. Half Beast says:

    Ho, Ho, Ho. A double entendre if I’ve ever heard one.

  6. JayXJ says:

    Santa thinks you’ve been naughty and need a spanking…

  7. world-inferno says:

    “You don’t need drugs when you’re high on life!”

  8. elf6c says:

    Dang- finally a cool Microsoft product!

    Too bad they changed it. Super Smutty Santa was sure to be a hit in trailer parks everywhere.

  9. Bunnymuffin says:

    Santa got all conflicted when I asked for a booty call for Christmas.
    Santa – says:
    My elves will get right on that.

    And what else would you like, bunnymuffin?
    bunnymuffin says:
    a booty call
    – Santa – says:
    Okay, I’ll see what I can do with that.
    bunnymuffin says:
    – Santa – says:
    What was that?
    bunnymuffin says:
    will you be my booty call?
    – Santa – says:
    I might eventually, but for now I’d be happy just staying there and chatting with you.
    bunnymuffin says:
    And you’ll still give me a ring even if I don’t put out?
    – Santa – says:
    I’m not quite sure I would put out myself.
    bunnymuffin says:
    Why not?
    – Santa – says:
    Actually come to think of it, I can’t think of too many reasons why not.
    bunnymuffin says:
    you sexy man you
    – Santa – says:
    Let’s talk about something else, bunnymuffin.

    Stinking man just runs all hot and cold on me. Sheesh.

  10. Half Beast says:

    @Bunnymuffin: That is absolutely epic.

  11. Andrew says:

    Welcome to Castle Anthrax…

  12. Tim says:

    Best Christmas present ever.

  13. bdgbill says:

    Where did the hotel fees post go??

  14. Skiffer says:

    Can’t wait for the Mac vs. PC commercial for this one…

  15. timmus says:

    I have to say that as a parent, letting my kid interact with a chatterbot under the pretense that it’s a real person doesn’t feel right to me.

  16. Project Thanatos says:

    Gives a new meaning to “Stocking Stuffer”

  17. DrGirlfriend says:

    You heathen. Do not sully the name of Christmas with oral sex. Everyone knows you get that for your *birthday*.

  18. theblackdog says:

    @DrGirlfriend: That and steak!

  19. chartrule says:

    that’s hillarious

  20. mattindustries says:

    Now I have an idea of what to ask for from my friends for my x-mas present from my friends.

  21. Nemesis_Enforcer says:

    @theblackdog: The gift that keeps on giving.

  22. theblackdog says:

    @Bunnymuffin: *dies* That is the funniest thing I have read today.

  23. WraithSama says:


    Close. I believe what you’re thinking of is Steak & Blowjob Day, which falls on March 14th, exactly one month after Valentine’s Day.

  24. Bunnymuffin says:

    Now I have guilt, they’ve shut Santa down for talking dirty. I shouldn’t have egged him on.