Secret Geek Squad Training Video

A former Geek Squad employee, racked with guilt over how he steals porn from customer’s computers all the time, gave us this video on his death bed. “Take this,” he gasped with one outstretched arm, “tell them the truth…” Then the guilt virus reached his heart and he was dead. We raced to watch the clip and were shocked, horrified, and amused by what we saw. Describing it won’t do it justice so you’ll just have to watch.. Man, Robert Stephens is so going to shoot our head off with a laser atop the Magic Castle once he sees this. — BEN POPKEN


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  1. junkmail says:

    I think that’s the same guy that “fixed” my mom’s PC a while back…

  2. Wormfather says:

    When do they get to the part about setting up the camera in the customer’s bathroom? I need the protocal on that.

  3. c41cifer says:

    I fail to see how this adds value for a consumer?

  4. Lordstrom says:

    What the hell was that!?!?!??!

  5. Juliekins says:

    @lorddave: That? Was hilarious. That’s what that was. I miss Jim Henson.

    Side note, I did “Geek Squad” type work (sans customer filming and porn stealing) in my previous job, and I’ve forwarded this to my colleagues. Hilarious.

  6. DrTweeker says:

    Funny? Mildly. Fit For consumerist? No Way. Leave the humor to the sites that do it well.

  7. orielbean says:

    I think it’s a nice break from the usual slew of negative experiences that people have as we sift through the site. Good sense of rhythm, Consumerist.

  8. Amsterdaam says:


    Relax, buddy. It’s ok to have fun once and a while…

  9. The Walking Eye says:

    @c41cifer: Would you like an answer to that question? I would say yes, you do fail to see how this adds value for the consumer. :)

  10. bpotterr says:

    It’s clips like this that made sesame street such a great show. I also like the various literary references they managed to sneak in. Momeraths, anyone?

  11. Skeptic says:

    I think that is the exact same technical jargon used to describe how the Furutech CD Demagnetizer works…

  12. Plaid Rabbit says:

    Dude, that was awesome. Would have been a GREAT April Fools day joke, but you’re only, what, 31 days late?

    Seriously – every once in a while stuff like this is good. Don’t go crazy, but it helps break the monotony sometimes.

  13. Commenters who say that stuff like this doesn’t fit on Consumerist must be newbies. Consumerist has always had humor posts.

  14. Amsterdaam says:


    Your post made me giggle like a little girl. At work.

  15. yzerman says:

    Got to love the muppet show..

    I miss good quality tv like that..

    wheres the two old guys cracking jokes already!

  16. Buji says:


    All Whirly were the borogroves, and the momeraths outgrabe.

    Or something like that. I also heard a Gandalf-alternator in there too…

  17. JRuiz47 says:

    Does the video show a muppet leaving a camera phone in a bathroom?

  18. castlecraver says:

    If I wasn’t drunk off my ass right now, I probably wouldn’t laugh. As it is, LOL. Bravo, BP.

  19. junkmail says:

    @Bon Jour, Pee Wee: Agreed. Get over yourselves folks. If you don’t like the content, you’re more than welcome to a refund.

  20. CumaeanSibyl says:

    @Buji: Mimsy, the borogoves were mimsy.

    Y’all, I swear, if you can’t laugh at old-school Henson you’re pretty much hopeless.

  21. EtherealStrife says:

    @JRuiz47: Miss Piggy has already filed a lawsuit against Cookie Monster.

    Good stuff. It got a laugh out of me, as I’d never seen this one before.

  22. Winca says:

    I think most newbies to the site never had a chance to enjoy this site’s humble origins with Joel Johnson… otherwise they’d step down off their pedestal and understand the intended nature of this site…

    On a somewhat related note, this video reminds me of this quote:

    “Wakka wakka, who wants to hear a funny-ass joke?”

    (I doubt anyone’s gonna catch the source)

  23. Optimistic Prime says:

    Nerd Alert! Nerd Alert! Love the Trauma Center reference in the post. I’m kinda surprised nobody else caught it.

  24. IC18 says:

    I cant see the video???

  25. Absorber says:

    Consumer is disgruntled. Consumer watches Muppet. Consumer gets a laugh for a change.

    Is that not value enough?

    Editors- the more muppets you can work into your posts, the better off we will ALL be. Thank you.