It’s A Matter Of Degree. Of Bullpoopy

Josh is mad because they took away his favorite Degree ‘Shower Cleaner’ Unisex Deodorant. It smelled clean and fresh and the world was right. In its place are two different deodorants, one for men and one for women, each of which have their gender-specific smells. They stink.

He wrote Unilever, inquiring why they can’t, “stick with the products that don’t suck donkey sack?”

Uniliver, in its response, contends that the Women’s version is the same as the unisex one Josh loved. But Josh has tried that one, and his nose knows different.

The heated exchange between the erstwhile lovers, inside.

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    “Hi. I had been buying the Degree ‘shower clean’ unisex deodorant for over seven years up until it’s sudden replacement with “new and improved” men and women specific products several months ago. As a male I appreciated the simplicity of the original product. It didn’t smell like spices or cleaning products like every other deodorant marketed towards men. It smelled good.

    Ever since the disappearance of the original unisex product from every known store, I first tried the similar looking ‘shower clean’ now labeled ‘Women”. I took it home, and it smelled awful in my opinion so I threw it away. I have a small stockpile of the travel-sized sticks of the original ‘shower clean’ (as the stores still have those in stock), as well as a full stick that some neglected convenience store still had in stock.

    More recently I was excited to see what appeared to be the original unisex ‘shower clean’ (not labeled with what sex you had to be in order to purchase!) in a new click-wheel container. While it is close to the original, it is also not quite right. While certainly better than the horrible Degree ‘Men’ ones I smelled at the store, it is still not the original. When I compare the ingredient lists on the back of the original ‘shower clean’ I have, and the new inferior one, there are differences, which I assume is responsible for the different smell. My question then is, why tinker with a good product?

    Furthermore, when I went to just now to find out how to, well, complain, I instead found some nice comic relief in your new marketing campaign.

    The homepage is divided into ‘women’ and ‘men’, to polarize the consumer immediately into women, who simply need only to observe the product, rest assured that it’s “Ultra Clear” and the men, who are invited to “Take Risks”, such as blasting through a storefront window with a motorcycle.

    Clicking on each, the women site appears to be a fashion ad offering a free sample. The men site opens with an animation claiming the product “Protects Men Who Take Risks” as the words break through more glass, and inside: “Welcome to Stunt City” and “Risk Taking Poker Tips”. Right, yes, the stunts and the poker and the shitty spice smells. I know you need to hook the 13 year olds with your product as they start to stink, but can’t you at least do that with some skateboarding rebels with kneepads and stick with the products that don’t suck donkey sack?

    Thank you for you time,

    – Josh Polly”

Unliver’s response:

Hi Josh,

Thanks for writing!

We apologize for the difficulty you are having in locating the product. It is still manufactured and can be made available to any store willing to carry it in the Women’s line only. According to our records, we have not changed the formula.

We have now designed our Degree Women products specifically for Women, and our Degree Men products specifically for men. This is also true of our fragrances. While we design Degree Women fragrances for women and vice versa, there is nothing preventing a Women from using a Degree Men product or a Man from using a Degree Women product.

Please inform your store managers that you are interested in the product. Urge them to contact their distributor, so they can carry it on their shelves and make it available to you and other consumers.

Thanks for your interest!
Your friends at Degree


Moral of the story: Marketers are liars. Josh either needs to buy his deoderant from random people with cache piles on Ebay, or find a new product to cleanse his armpits.

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