The Department of Transportation
s (DOT) released its scintillating
Air Travel Consumer Report,
revealing intriguing trends in the various ways airlines screwed up last year.

Consumers registered 13 discrimination complaints, the same as 2004. Are carriers applying the same stringent levels of racism or are these just the same 13 people that they don’t like?

Topping the complaint chart is baggage. Unfortunately, there
s no breakout as to percentage related to indelicately handled not-my-vibrator incidences.

The most complaints were for American Airlines. Comair, Independence Air and Trans States Air received the least, mainly because no one flies them.

The DOT also informs that
on-time
means anything less than 15 minutes late. Note too the section on “Customer Service Reports to the Department of Homeland Security.”

The report would
ve been great at the crack of Monday while stuck on Jetblueballs. We could
ve used it to lodge a complaint right up the fascist stewardess
s rear cabin.

Air Travel Consumer Report [U.S. Department of Transportation]

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.