potty talk

(Nicholas Eckhart)

Police: Kmart Shopper Left Bathroom Deposit In Box Of Store Security Tags

If there are aliens out there scanning our world’s media reports, at this point I’m terribly afraid they think humans don’t now how to dispose of their waste properly — from public bike paths to parked cars, we’re just a mess. In yet another instance of presumably otherwise functioning adults, police say a woman did her bathroom business in a box of security tags at a Kmart store in Wisconsin. Sigh. [More]

(Akron Police via NewsNet5)

Police In Ohio On The Lookout For Serial Pooper Defecating On Parked Cars

Police in Akron, OH have been dealing with a messy issue since 2012, and it’s one they just can’t seem to wipe away: Cops say a mysterious serial pooper/bowel movement bandit has made area cars his own personal dumping ground, hitting up as many as 19 vehicles in the last three years. But now, police have his face on camera. [More]

The pile of parts man is accused of stealing from restaurants (St. Petersburg Police Department)

Cops Bust Man Accused Of Pilfering The Plumbing From Burger King, Cracker Barrel And More

You know what’s annoying? Heeding the call of nature at a restaurant, only to find that the thing that makes the toilet flush is missing, and the necessary plumbing to tote away what needs toting is gone as well. Who would want to steal pieces of toilets? Police in Florida say a man has been accused of visiting local eateries and pilfering the plumbing for his own gain. [More]


Years Of Extreme Drought Forcing Texas Town To Consider Drinking Recycled Toilet Water

What’s a thirsty population to do when years of severe drought have almost exhausted the drinking water supply? One Texas town has taken a look around and realized there’s wastewater, wastewater everywhere, but not a drop to drink. Or hang on a second — there is plenty of perfectly good toilet water going to, well, waste. Ding, ding, ding. [More]

Pizza Hut Closes Down After Video Shows District Manager Using The Kitchen Sink As A Urinal

Pizza Hut Closes Down After Video Shows District Manager Using The Kitchen Sink As A Urinal

Food and bathroom behavior just don’t mix — especially at a restaurant that’s serving paying customers. So it’s no wonder video footage of a Pizza Hut employee in West Virginia peeing into the kitchen sink — the same one used to wash utensils and supplies — has prompted health officials to shut down that location to investigate. [More]


Hold The Potty Jokes: World Toilet Day Seeks To Raise Awareness About Need For Basic Sanitation

The next time you visit your clean, safe commode in the privacy of your own home, take a minute to think about how lucky you are. Seriously. Today is World Toilet Day, and despite the easy potty jokes you could easily summon, a third of the world’s population doesn’t have access to basic, clean sanitation. Never mind that heated seat you love so dearly. [More]


Cops: Woman Flushed Investors’ Hopes Down The Drain In $100K Toilet Fan Scam

A good rule to live by: If someone asks you for money to fund a scheme involving toilets, your cash will probably just be flushed down the drain (unless it’s some kind of magical talking toilet that gives out great advice and also cleans your entire house while singing a delightful ditty*). [More]

(Greater Beyond)

Call It Desheeting Or Bulking Up: Any Way You Wipe It, It’s Less Toilet Paper At The Same Price

Regular readers of Consumerist are familiar with what we call the Grocery Shrink Ray, that phenomenon wherein an item sold at X price at a retailer shrinks in size but still costs X amount. In the toilet paper and tissue industry it’s called “desheeting”  or even “bulking up” instead but essentially means the same thing: less product, same price, which means more money for the item’s makers. [More]

When cops arrive, it's not a good sign.

Refusing To Turn Your Phone Off & Screaming Profanities Will Get You Booted From A Flight

There are few guarantees in life, but rest assured that if 1. you refuse to turn your cell phone off and 2. you’re (allegedly) screaming profanities at the flight crew/cops 1. you will be kicked off said flight and 2. at least one of your fellow passengers will definitely film the action and post it on the Internet. That’s how it went down on a recent US Airways flight during a particularly upsetting incident. [More]

Toilet paper takes toooo long, says Dubin.

Dollar Shave Club Turns To The Other Cheeks With New Butt-Wipe Memberships

For those unfamiliar with Dollar Shave Club, it’s a young whippersnapper of a company that’s been cleaning up in the U.S. razor market since its debut about a year ago. Its business plan includes various tiers of membership packages, with subscribers receiving packages of razors every month. The company is now turning to your other cheeks with the introduction of One Wipe Charlies which yes, are wipes for your butt. [More]

Maybe a quick Google search would've helped Target.

Target Probably Didn’t Check Spanish Dictionary For “Urine” Before Selling “Orina” Sandals

Dear readers, cast your brains back all the way to last week: Remember when Target caught a bit of flak for selling only the plus-size version of a dress in Manatee Gray in an apparent mix-up that had the other ladies’ version in regular Heather Gray? The company apologized and blamed an internal process for the glitch. That’s all cleared up — but who at Target made the decision to go ahead and sell Urine style sandals? [More]

(Mike McCarty)

Arizona Bill: The Sex Listed On Birth Certificate Designates Which Public Bathroom You Use

New legislation in Arizona is stirring up controversy over the rights of transgender people in that state, with debate over a bill that would require people to use the public restroom affiliated with their birth gender. The proposed law would also make it a misdemeanor for a person to use a public shower, bath, dressing room or locker room associated with a gender other than what’s on his or her birth certificate. [More]


Red Bull Says Blackmailers Are Threatening To Contaminate Drinks With Poo

These days it feels like we’re up to our ears in news involving fecal matter — poop cruises and almond cakes and the like — so we apologize if you haven’t eaten lunch yet. Might wanna do that before reading on… In the latest poo news, Red Bull says it’s the target of a blackmailer threatening to contaminate its drinks with waste unless the company pays up. [More]

FAA: Sorry That Holes In Your Roof Are Maybe From Frozen Waste Falling From The Sky

FAA: Sorry That Holes In Your Roof Are Maybe From Frozen Waste Falling From The Sky

Blue ice or frozen airplane waste? Potato, pot-ah-to but for two homeowners on Long Island, it all boils down to the same result — gaping holes in the roof. The Federal Aviation Administration is trying to figure out how the homes got damaged and whether or not homeowners are correct in thinking that something super gross fell from a plane passing overhead. [More]

Environmentally-Friendly Toilet Paper Is Just The Right Shade Of Brown

Environmentally-Friendly Toilet Paper Is Just The Right Shade Of Brown

In an attempt to go green, Cascades tissue company is browning up their toilet paper with a 100% recycled, unbleached offering. They’re peddling the brown bath tissue to businesses now and hope to bring it to consumers’ bathrooms later this year. But yeah, brown toilet paper! Interesting. [More]

Do You Use Your Mobile Phone In The Bathroom?

We’ve all got that person at work who just yakkety yaks away on their phone in the bathroom, and it’s probably the same guy/gal who uses their shoe to flush and opens the door with a paper towel (so inconsistent, germaphobes!) Hey, maybe that’s even you, because as a new survey says, lots of us use our mobile devices in the john. No judgment! [More]