Our favorite moment: when Halleran asks, “If I cancel my account with you guys, will that stop the mailing?”, and the man on the other end just sighs in angry exasperation.
funny
FlyJumper Ad Promises To Make You Awesome, Then Rich, Then Dead
By 10.4.07
In the U.S. they’re called PoweriZers, but in the U.K. those springy pogo-boot things are called FlyJumpers, and the company that sells them has come up with a bizarre ad that appeals to… materialistic and amoral fame-seekers who are suicidal, we guess? The commercial—which is available on the Amazon.co.uk product info page—shows a bank robber making an amazing escape on his FlyJumpers, and getting away with thousands of pound notes. Then, inexplicably, it turns into a scene from “Final Destination.”
Sprint Is The Suckiest Cellphone Company
By 10.2.07
According to Google, Sprint is the suckiest cellphone company. When you query “____ sucks,” filling in the name of different providers, Sprint returns the most results. Here’s how all the providers stacked up:
UPDATE: Verizon And Helio Are The Coolest Cellphone Company!
By 10.1.07
According to Google, Verizon is the coolest cellphone company. When you query “____ is cool,” filling in the name of different providers, Verizon is tits. Here’s how many results were returned for each company:
Are Leaf Blowers Disturbing The Peace? Should They Be Banned?
By 9.29.07
Some residents of a leafy suburb of Boston are fighting over what to do with all the leaves. Residents of Newton, Mass., say they are being tormented by the noise coming from the gas-powered leaf blowers that are now everywhere.
Oh no!
Retire Early By Suing Google For Anything
By 9.26.07
You’re likely reading The Consumerist in the middle of a workday, so we’re guessing you’re receptive to new ideas on how to make lots of money fast without actually doing any work. Here’s a great way: just make up some reason to sue Google.
FTD.com: Sorry, We're All Out Of Roses
By 9.22.07
Online florist FTD.com, “the world’s oldest floral services organization,” told reader Sean that they were out of roses. Sean had ordered a flower arrangement for his wife to celebrate their sixth anniversary. When he presciently called on the day of the anniversary to verify that his order had been received and processed, Sean was told that his flowers were not available, but not to worry, since FTD still had five minutes to deliver his arrangement. Puzzled, Sean instead tried to order a simple bouquet of roses. He writes:
Flyer's Rights Protest Involves Airplane Themed Tent, Smelly Portable Toilets
By 9.21.07
The Coalition For A Passenger’s Bill of Rights cracks us up. They went to D.C. and erected an airplane-themed tent complete with smelly portable toilets in an attempt to recreate the feel of a real-life tarmac imprisonment.
Phone Shop's Name Looks Oddly Familiar
By 9.19.07
The owner of this mobile phone and accessory store in NYC has found a creative way to re-use some existing signage. It’s not exactly as genius as the “COBY” brand you see on low-rent CD players and headphones, but it gets the job done.
Subway Cheese Scam Protest Tshirt Designed
By 9.12.07
For only $12.95, you can protest Subway’s cheese geometry scam in this fetching tee. [More]
Subway's Incorrect Use Of Isosceles Cheese Actually A Vast Conspiracy
By 9.11.07
Subway’s penchant for not using their triangle cheese correctly is actually part of a diabolical mind-control plan to get you to pay more. [More]
Walmart Rolls Back Prices Negative Sixteen Cents
By 9.6.07
Reader Jonathan’s son snapped this photo of a Walmart price “rollback” in Tawas City, Michigan, this Labor Day Monday. The current price is $1.98, the previous, $1.82. “I do see the irony of being in a Wal-Mart on Labor Day,” writes Jonathan, “and I still feel unclean for it.”
Lighter Side Of The Housing Bubble
By 8.28.07
There’s not much amusing in the subprime meltdown and housing bubble burst, which is why we were gladdened to see a site called Burbed. Basically, they make fun of San Francisco Bay Area housing listings.
How Are We Paying Off Our Subprime Mortgages?
By 8.16.07
But with liquidity drying up, the last, and most hilarious, option is probably shrinking…
Ladies And Gentlemen: The First iPhone Injury!
By 8.8.07
Flickr member waveman216 has posted visual evidence of the world’s first iPhone injury, along with step-by-step instructions on how you too can nearly kill yourself using only an iPhone and a treadmill. Ouch!
Dear Subway, Please Use Your Isosceles Cheese Correctly
By 7.18.07
Come on guys, you got the putting calories on the menu thing right. Now, let’s try draping the calories across the sub in a geometrically satisfying pattern, the one that fulfills the design destiny intended by your sandwich scientists. Spurn not their legacy. [More]
Resolving The Insurance Woes Of Optimus Prime
By 7.10.07
This “LETTER TO OPTIMUS PRIME FROM HIS GEICO AUTO INSURANCE AGENT” from McSweeney’s strikes an all-to-familiar note. Poor Optimus.
