Old news: homeowners strategically defaulting on their loans. New news: They first want to get financing for a new house. [More]
florida
McDonald's Employee Robs Place Of Work Twice, Still Keeps Showing Up To Work
By 8.9.10
It takes balls to rob the McDonald’s you’ve been working at for months. It takes balls of steel to do it twice in one month. And it takes balls of steel the size of large boulders to keep showing up for work afterward. Alas, your big mouth will ultimately get you and your massive balls arrested for armed robbery. [More]
911: Driving You To The Liquor Store Is Not An Emergency
By 8.4.10
Frivolous 911 calls are a serious waste of time and resources and authorities have little patience for those who dial the emergency number for petty grievances. So when a man from Florida thought the best way to get a lift to the liquor store was to call 911, he ended up behind bars. [More]
Cash-Strapped Miami Approves 500-Foot Tall Billboards
By 7.29.10
Miami is about to get a taste of Times Square, now that the city’s commissioners have given their okay to a plan that would erect a pair of towering electronic signs. [More]
Florida Pizza Joint Adds A 15% Tip Automatically
By 7.27.10
A pizza place in Jacksonville, Florida has decided to pay its servers a higher wage and in order to pay for it, automatically add a 15% tip to each order. Signs are posted and you can ask the server to take the tip off the bill if you want. [More]
If You Get An E-Mail From The CEO Of BP, It's Probably A Scam
By 7.22.10
Here’s a tip: Unless you’re a high-ranking member of the military or government, you’re probably not going to be getting any e-mails sent to you by big-mouthed British Petroleum CEO Tony Hayward. But for those who do see something from ol’ T-Bone in the their inbox, the Attorney General in Florida wants you to know it’s probably a scam. [More]
Burger King Employee Busted For Drugging Sandwiches
By 6.30.10
Anyone who has ever eaten too much Burger King has probably felt a bit sleepy afterward. But for at least two BK customers in Jacksonville, FL, that sensation might have come from the fact that their fast food had been spiked with prescription painkillers. [More]
Video: Stepping In Tarballs A Beach Vacation Lowpoint For Little Girl
By 6.28.10
This video shows a lgirl stepping into a tarball on a Destin, FL and screaming for her mother to get it off. The politicians and billboards are telling people to never mind the oil spill, come down to the shore, the water’s fine. Some of them are, but this beach is not, not today. [More]
Gulf Oil Spill Putting Slimy Wet Blanket On Beach Weddings
By 6.23.10
The ever-expanding pool of oil once known as the Gulf of Mexico isn’t just crushing the local fishing industry; it’s also caused many couples who had planned waterfront weddings on the beaches of the Florida Panhandle to move their nuptials further inland. [More]
Harry Potter Theme Park Casts Parental Shakedown Spell In Orlando
By 6.21.10
Harry Potter’s greatest magic trick is his ability to take money from people in infinite ways. The boy wizard’s latest venture is the Universal-owned theme park-within-a-themepark The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, which opened in Orlando this weekend. [More]
There's A Reason You Can Get This House At A Discount
By 6.16.10
Now, many of you don’t know that I have a degree in architecture. So maybe it’s only my keen eye that can discern the minute tectonic details that would make this particular McMansion Lite slightly less expensive than another one. Can your novice senses detect the reason? [More]
Customers Remain Stranded As Spirit Cancels Wed Flights
By 6.14.10
The South Florida Sun Sentinel says that Spirit Airlines has canceled its Wednesday flights, which will be the 5th consecutive day that the airline has not flown due to a pilot strike. [More]
Grocery Shrink Ray: New Tropicana Pseudo Half Gallon Jugs Spotted In The Wild
By 6.2.10
We told you that freezing in Florida was going to take a toll on OJ starting in May and according to MousePrint.org, the shrink ray is on. Edgar got a hold of some before and after examples and did the usual postmortem. [More]
BP Oil Spill More Like 12,000-19,000 Barrels Per Day
By 5.28.10
First BP told us 1,000, then 5,000, and now a joint federal and independent research task force estimates that 12,000 to 19,000 barrels of oil were spewing into the Gulf since the crisis began, NYT reports. If the numbers are right, then we’re talking about as much as 30 million gallons. That would be more than 3x the amount from the Valdez disaster. [More]
Second Grade Video Yearbook Turns Out To Be A Porn DVD
By 5.27.10
A bit of advice to school teachers out there. If your husband likes schoolgirl-themed pornography, keep it away from the class’ video yearbook. Unfortunately, the internet was not able to administer this advice before one Florida teacher swapped a porn DVD for the yearbook and gave it to a second grader. The mother is understandably upset. [More]
"Top Kill" Seems To Be Working, Says US
By 5.27.10
BP’s latest efforts to fix the oil spill seem to be actually stopping the geyser of oil, the Coast Guard cautiously announced this morning. The final word isn’t in yet, but might something in the Gulf might be going right for once? I dare not even utter hope’s name. [More]
BP Starts Operation "Top Kill," Watch It Live
By 5.26.10
BP has started operation “Top Kill,” and we’ve embedded here the live videostream of their latest attempt to plug the well. The maneuver involves pumping heavy drilling mud and cement into the well. While routine on surface wells, it’s never been attempted at 5,000 ft underwater. And if it goes south and the blowout preventer cracks under the pressure, it could make matters worse. Bust out the popcorn! I just saw a robot arm! [More]
Satirical BP Twitter Account Has More Followers Than Real One
By 5.25.10
A fake BP PR twitter account, BPGlobalPR, has started posted satirical tweets about the company’s response and attitude to the oil spill, and it has more followers than of the real BP Twitter accounts combined. And why not? Would you rather read, “BP Pledges $500 Million for Independent Research into Impact of Spill on Marine Environment” or “Doing our best to turn oil into oilinade. So far the stuff tastes TERRIBLE.” [More]
