• Buying a wedding dress on Craiglist is cheap, but you also have to factor in the cost of removing the boob padding. [Another Fucking Wedding] “Wedding dress redux”
complaints
Champion Sports’ Credit Policy Oscillates Smell Waves
By 7.10.06
Bernard is pissed. Pissed that his new Champion Sports sneakers lacerated his heel. Pissed that he lost the receipt. Pissed that he couldn’t find a replacement shoe he liked. And pissed that the store credit he was issued by Champion Sports was then arbitrarily reclaimed. As Bernard wrote to Champion:
Best Buy Repair STILL Melts Meat, Not Hearts
By 7.7.06
Last month, Nikki wrote in complaining about her refrigerator, and Best Buy’s, failings. After finally getting her frigo fixed, it went out again (we think you have a bum frigo, Nikki) and all her food, especially 4th of July meats, was spoiled. Subsequently, she squeezed the Best Buy and Frigidarie people until ekking out food gift cards as reimbursement, though we’ve seen bloodier stones. Nikki writes:
America’s Best Makes Four-Eyes See A Blurry Kind of Red
By 7.5.06
With our retinas conjoined by the royal ‘Consumerist’ we, Ben and I from a grotesque octo-occulus. That is to say: we’re both four-eyes…es. But while Ben dashes off to network interviews clad in dashing Gucci frames, my glasses have two different ear pieces and sit crookedly upon my face. One ear piece is superglued to the joint; the other floppily waggles back and forth on the left side of my cranium. A mere nod sends them rocketing off of my face at high velocity to maim innocent by-standers around me.
Quality Customer Care at Direct TV for EastEnders Fan
By 6.28.06
Marge C. loves the British soap opera EastEnders. That alone almost made us click on the ‘Spam’ button in Thunderbird. In America, soap operas are about glamorous doctors and millionaires seducing super models and occasionally battling Satan. In the UK, soap operas are about brown-toothed dole sows shoveling crisps into their mouths and working in sweatshops.
A Group of Crows is Called a ‘Murder,’ But What of Blogs?
By 6.27.06
• Paypal customer service stinks in Hungary like rotting borscht.
When Flying Requires a Shoehorn
By 6.27.06
At six feet, five inches, Tom is a big man and when flying, he likes the aisle. Lately, the airlines don’t seem to care.
Tough Customers Told Tough Titties
By 6.26.06
We’re all about complaining and wheedling to get what you want from businesses. But according to an MSN Money article, you might be bitching your own hole.
Circuit City Puts Out The Gimp
By 6.26.06
Heroic cripple motors to local Circuit City, drags his limbless torso in by a combination of Prince Randian-like body undulations and chin dragging. Purchases new battery for tongue-controlled wheelchair. Declines service plan. Vengeful Circuit City employee, denied a commission, cackles evilly as blasts of lightning streak behind him, casting him in penumbric silhouette. Makes handicapped customer carry wheelchair battery to the car himself.
Blogobitchin’!
By 6.24.06
• Didn’t like the ads before the Chappelle’s Shows he bought from iTunes, so he complained very very very diligently and became, perhaps the only person in the world who ever got an iTunes refund. And no, he didn’t support his claim by yelling, “I’m Rick James, bitch!” over and over again. [thewebguy]
Circuit City Executive Customer Service Contacts
By 6.23.06
If you have a difficulty with Circuit City and can’t find resolution through the normal route, you may appreciate this list of contacts.
Beg and Plead in AOHell
By 6.22.06
Despite having to deal with a complete and total (and now fired!) cock, Vincent Ferrari still managed to get his AOL account canceled in under 7 minutes. Vincent’s special his account was picked up by the blogosphere, then the MSM. But he’s also special because, as people have written us time and time again, a 7 minute cancellation phone call is actually an example of stellar, speedy service from the likes of AOL. Some customers, a bit meeker than Vincent, literally have to resort to begging.
iPodMechanic.com Takes Broken iPod, Runs
By 6.22.06
With the meaty heel of a palm resounding against the center of your forehead with a leathery slap, this might strike many of you as particularly astounding advice, but we think it needs to be said: please, please do not mail your $400 iPod to some random Internet stranger proclaiming himself to be an iPod Mechanic. Especially if there isn’t even a phone number on the website.
