We’re putting the finishing touches on our big post on the AOL manual but wanted to release this sneak peak…
AOL
BREAKING: Spitzer To Talk To AOL, Again
By 7.11.06
NY Attorney General Elliot Spitzer, pictured at right, throwing up gang signs (see the A and G his hands form?) will meet with AOL executives to discuss whether the company still impedes customers trying to cancel their accounts, Reuters reports.
AOFell
By 7.10.06
AOL’s much ballyhooed plan to dismantle its subscription service and put all its content on AOL.com, as well as discontinue to the use of “retention consultants” to “save” people from cancelling, is far from set in stone.
AOL… Disconnecting… Goodbye!
By 7.7.06
AObloatage notwithstanding, it would be remiss to end this week/month of fun without linking to the August ’05 agreements AOL made with future NY governor Spitzer regarding revising the ISP’s niggardly retention tactics.
AOL Falls On The Sword to Save the Scabbard
By 7.7.06
In a climax worthy of a maudlin children’s novella, AOL reportedly intends to convert its walled garden of delights into a public park, a place where everyone, regardless of race, religion, class, creed or knowledge of the many-tubed internet can gather without fear of encountering anything interesting. In other, smaller, words, the entirety of AOL’s proprietary content will be ported to AOL.com to attract visitors and ad-revenue.
AOL Broadband Goes Free
By 7.6.06
What happens when that booty becomes too shriveled and diseased to shake for cash? Honey, you gotta start giving it away.
AOL Updates Retention “Offer Matrix”
By 7.6.06
Another gemstone that tumbled out of the AOL retention coal mine after Vinny’s call is this update to the ominously monikered, “Offer Matrix.” That’s apparently the sequence of goodies doled out to customers to dissuade them from stopping service. Take the red prophylactic, Neo.
AOL Internal Memos, After Vinny’s Call
By 7.6.06
A disgruntled employee mailed in a triptych of AOL internal emails that followed the cancellation call heard round the world, finally launching the call’s recorder, Vincent, onto The Today Show, CNBC, CNN and even generated a comic strip, a Playboy parody video, and finally, our “Where is he now?” interview.
The News; Supermarket Struck By White Lightning
By 7.6.06
• You know what they say about giving it away, it makes people think it’s worthless, which in this case is absolutely correct. [CT] “AOL May Offer Some Services Free”
• Glad to hear you finally escaped the cellar and got that slough cleaning job you’ve always dreamed of. [NYT] “Jobless Claims Fall Slightly”
• The sky’s price for friendliness just got $10 more expensive. [CT] “Price Of Flying Takes Skyward Turn Again”
• Globalization died last week of prostate cancer. It was 81. [NYT] “Theodore Levitt Dead”
• The one divorce that really is the kid’s fault. [LAT] “Amazon Opens Toy Store After Toys R Us Ruling”
• Albertson’s, it’s your store, Mr. Aryan Nation. [LAT] “Albertsons Sued Over Racial Discrimination” [More]
AOL Asks You To Resubscribe To Confirm Your Cancellation
By 7.5.06
Last week, Chat Noir tried to cancel his AOL account. He succeeded! Unfortunately, they tried to sucker him in with a further ploy: they told him he could check out his ‘totally free’ email account anytime, but later, a robotic voice clearly told him doing so would be taken as assent to resubscribe.
Vincent Ferrari Teaches Us How To Hope Again
By 7.3.06
Our good friend Vincent Ferrari — the shameless self-promoter who recorded the AOL Cancellation call, tipped us, then tipped everyone else on the Internet before we could even get Boing Boinged (but we totally adore him anyway) — sent us word that he’s done a few more cancellation calls, this time for credit cards, with far better results. And by better results, we mean worse from the perspective of pure entertainment. But good service is what matters, right?
