We’re trying to figure out who this inflatable crime scene is meant for. With its puffy cuteness, built in lights, and “castle” style walls, it looks like it would be a perfect entrance to a backyard Halloween party for kids. But with its “crime scene noises” and someone-is-being-murdered vibe, it seems more appropriate at a celebration for short police academy graduates. Either way, it can be yours for $125 and a relinquishing of any sense of good taste. [Update: this post is meant humorously—I belly-laughed when I first saw the product.]
Government Policy
The Video That Got A Grandmother Escorted Off JetBlue In Handcuffs
By 10.1.08
JetBlue really doesn’t know when to leave well enough alone! Remember Marilyn Parver, the grandmother who was arrested for videotaping a fight between two other passengers, and then refusing to delete it? Well, it seems that after the whole thing had blown over — JetBlue had to go and send the woman a nasty email in which they accused her of being “argumentative, condescending and belligerent” and refusing to obey the instructions of crewmembers. Dumb! Now Parver has released the tape in question and we can’t see anything wrong with what she did. The fight is one of those basic “I’ve been on a plane for a really long time with your out-of-control child and I’m having a nervous breakdown” altercations. Nothing cookies and hugs wouldn’t fix!
After 16 Years, Justice Department Ordered To Build Used Car Database
By 9.28.08
A federal judge ruled last week that the Department of Justice has until March to establish a used car database as directed by Congress 16 years ago. The National Motor Vehicle Title Information System will warn potential buyers if a used car was stolen or totaled, and will instantly verify the car’s title and mileage. Here’s how it will work…
By 9.26.08
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FDA warns consumers not to drink instant coffee made in China because it may be tainted with melamine. They specifically mention one brand, the hilariously-unappetizing-souding Mr. Brown. [MSNBC]
Man Sues Doctors For Amputating Penis
By 9.24.08
What part of “circumcision” was unclear? That’s basically what a Kentucky man and his wife are asking of two doctors who cut off the man’s penis while he was under the knife. The doctors say they discovered cancer and made an emergency decision. The man says, dude, wtf, you cut off my penis. It doesn’t grow back, and it was kind of important to me.
Timberland Offering Up To $150 To Recipients Of Its Text Message Spam
By 9.24.08
Under the terms of a preliminary settlement agreement, [Timberland and e-commerce company GSI] will pay $7 million into a cash fund to reimburse those who received the messages, according to KamberEdelson LLC, one of the law firms that helped bring the suit.
Find Class Action Settlements At Topclassactions.com
By 9.24.08
If you want to know about the latest class action settlements as soon as they’re available, check out topclassactions.com. There’s an infrequently emailed newsletter to keep you posted as the settlements become available for joining, or just bookmark their open settlement page. Once you get over some of the hyperbolic language and unnecessary all-caps, the site is pretty useful because if you’ve ever tried Googling for class actions, there’s tons of crap and scam sites, and it’s nice to have a site with all the information under decent organization.
American Airlines Says Some Customers Are More Equal Than Others
By 9.23.08
It’s true, you’re all going to the same place, but American Airlines has decided to debut new dedicated lanes available only to the “elite” members of the AAdvantage program, full-fare coach customers, AAirpass holders and passengers in business and first class. The lanes will direct these desirable individuals swiftly through the airport from check-in to boarding — including security.
One Day Left To Register For TransUnion Class Action Lawsuit
By 9.23.08
September 24, tomorrow, is the last day to register for the class action against TransUnion for selling consumer’s private data to businesses without permission. If you held a credit card between January 1, 1987 to May 28, 2008, you’re eligible to receive benefits. You can choose from one of three options:
Apple Recalls Faulty iPhone 3G Power Adapters
By 9.21.08
Remember that game where your parents would tell you not to stick your fingers in electrical outlets and then you would and you’d get shocked? Well it’s now a real-life app for iPhone 3G owners! Here’s how to play: plug your iPhone 3G’s ultra-compact USB power adapter into the wall. If the prongs break off and get stuck in the outlet creating a risk of electrocution, you win! Or lose. Probably the latter, which is why Apple recalled the devices on Friday.
Vienna "All Beef" Hot Dogs Are Made With Sheep, Pigs
By 9.21.08
Sorry Chicagoans, your beloved Vienna “100% All Beef” hot dogs are actually encased in sheep and pigs, according to a recently settled class action suit. Under the settlement, all class members—anyone in the U.S. who bought a Vienna hot dog at a hot dog stand in the past five years—are entitled to $3 per consumed hog dog. To submit a claim, visit caclawyers.com/viennasettlement.html and follow the procedures listed there.
FTC: These Eleven Companies Cannot Cure Cancer
By 9.21.08
We’re sorry, but there is no cure for cancer. The FTC is going after eleven companies that claim otherwise by selling potions, herbs, and a “systematized program of thinking good thoughts” masquerading as cures. You shouldn’t need a federal agency to tell you that the “Miracle Water for Cancer” doesn’t actually cure anything, nor does it reverse weight gain and aging. Bummer. Six of the snake oil companies agreed to settle, but five will crawl before a judge and argue that they can cure cancer. Let’s look at the list…
SEC, Treasury Throw More Sandbags Into The Wall Street Flood Waters
By 9.19.08
The SEC has temporarily banned short selling of 799 financial stocks, and the Treasury Department has said that it would guarantee (temporarily?) money market funds up to the amount of $50 billion. The New York Times called this move “startling” because money market funds have long been considered one of the safest investments — about as safe as a savings account.
Idiot Comcast Door-To-Door Salesmen Cause Neighborhood Panic
By 9.19.08
Yesterday, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer reported that the police were looking for two men who were posing as Comcast employees as a ruse to steal social security numbers. The men were driving an unmarked car, wandering around a neighborhood knocking on doors and telling residents they needed to fix some wiring issues. One resident refused, claiming that she didn’t have an appointment. She then saw the employees start knocking on other doors and, finding it unlikely that her entire neighborhood could have “wiring issues,” called the police.
Genetically Engineered Foods Edge Closer To Dinner Plate, FDA To Develop GE Rules
By 9.18.08
FrankenChicken moved closer to your dinner table after the FDA announced they’re going to begin developing the procedures and guidelines that will allow farmers to genetically engineer animals to have more desirable traits and then sell them to you in the supermarket. For instance, featherless chicken or faster-growing fish. They will not require food to be labeled as genetically modified as long as there’s no change in the final product, a move Consumers Union called “incomprehensible.”
UltimateBet Poker Site Admits Players Cheated, But Won't Name Names
By 9.18.08
Here’s a mystery story to distract you from the U.S. Banking Apocalypse. UltimateBet.com, “one of the top 10 poker sites,” has admitted that employees manipulated the software to cheat from at least January 2005 to January 2008, when some players started noticing an unusually high rate of wins for a certain user name. An Australian player mapped that user’s wins against accounts that had played a similar number of hands, and realized that “NioNio’s” wins were “less likely than ‘winning a one-in-a-million lottery on four consecutive days.'” But NioNio is just one part of the mystery.
Verizon Refuses To Help Locate Body Of Missing Woman For Four Days
By 9.17.08
Verizon, which has no problem helping the government spy on its customers, suddenly turned stupid in June when a police department asked them for help finding the body of a woman who had been abducted on camera. Despite pleas from the woman’s parents, the police, and the FBI, it was four days before a technician was sent out to the appropriate cell tower. When that technician gave the police the location info, they found Kelsey Smith’s body within 45 minutes. Verizon won’t respond to requests for an explanation of why they couldn’t help sooner.
