What’s the fastest way for a fast food purveyor to make news online? Slap some bacon on whatever they’re selling. Or in the case of Little Caesars, wrap 3.5 feet of bacon around it.

Yes, the chain pizzeria that manages to never fully go away is making a stab at Internet fame today with the announcement of a limited-time, bacon-wrapped pizza, which is exactly what it sounds like: A Little Caesars deep-dish pizza with bacon slapped to the side of it.

“Every time you take a bite out of the crust, you’ll get bacon,” clarifies Little Caesars CEO David Scrivano in perhaps the most obvious statement ever released about a bacon-wrapped pizza.

Scrivano tells USA Today that this pizza engineering feat actually required years of work from a research-and-development team and is not merely the result of Googling “stuff that should be wrapped around a pizza crust.”

Maybe I seem a bit cynical about this, and I am. It’s not that I’m a health food nut, or that I even have problems with stunt foods. Some of my best friends are stunt foods. But this slap-some-bacon-on-it announcement has the smoky, salty whiff of Poochie-ish desperation about it, rather than an attempt to make pizza or bacon better by combining the two.

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