100% Of Consumerist Staff Would Forgive Sir Patrick Stewart For Eating Tuna On A Plane

Noooooo, SPS don't doooo it!!! (Jimmy Kimmel Live on YouTube)

Noooooo, SPS don’t doooo it!!! (Jimmy Kimmel Live on YouTube)

Of the many jokes, riffs and bits about the annoying kinds of people you’re likely to meet on a flight, the team at the Consumerist is having a tough time going along with a sketch on last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live. See, that’s because the actor playing all the obnoxious types of passengers just happens to be Sir Patrick Stewart, he of the voice that could melt butter or freeze water into ice.

Honestly, we could only be so lucky to have SPS on our flight, even if he was going to be the “Chatty Charlie” (with that voice? Chat away!), “The Seat Climber” (yes, please) or “The Landing Clapper” (love the timbre of your laugh).

In fact, a non-scientific survey of the Consumerist team just now found 100% of us would even forgive SPS for being the kind of “Stinky Snacker” who would eat a day-old tuna sub on a plane full of people — some only if you absolutely had to otherwise something terrible might happen to SPS.

Expressing sentiments such as “If he would die or become very ill from tuna deficiency, I would forgive him”; “Sir Patrick Stewart smells like science and christmas. But yes. If he had to”; “Absolutely, as long as he wasn’t chewing with his mouth open,”; and “Yes, because he’s Sir Patrick/He would have to recite Shakespeare at me the whole time to earn my forgiveness, but still,” we can confidently say that we’d very likely tolerate even that most heinous of passenger-on-passenger crimes, given the right set of twinkling eyes and a sparkling British accent to match.

I know I just asked you all about eating ants, but I’m full of questions today: