When the breathless press release landed in Consumerist’s inbox, panting that the new flavor of Doritos Locos Tacos at Taco Bell would be Fiery Doritos, the first reaction was kind of, “Oh. Okay.” Because sure, sometimes the third time is the charm, but in this case, it feels a bit like we’ve been Doritos Locos Tacos’d out. You try typing that phrase repeatedly over three years of ramped up anticipation about various iterations of a fast food product and see if you can summon any real enthusiasm.
There are limits to our giddiness over new forms of fast food abuse we can put our bodies through, after all. But for those interested — and we’re sure many of you are — the third incarnation of DLT is not Flamas, as previously suggested, but Fiery — “combining spicy chili with a hint of lime flavor in a crunch red shell,” explains Taco Bell. It’ll be in your face starting Aug. 22.
Some reactions from various sources within earshot or typing distance (so basically anywhere):
Me, I’ve just lost the will to care. One DLT, two DLT, three DLT TOO MANY DLT.
“I haven’t been able to eat ice cream, soup, or drink water without crying for several days, so the idea of a fiery taco shell from a company synonymous with diarrhea is really not something I’d like to discuss.” — A source far removed from the situation
“If it’s not cool ranch, I don’t care, because Cool Ranch are the only Doritos that I acknowledge are edible.” — Zoe, a dog
“I’m 31 and I still think Taco Bell is as delicious as when I was 16. So I’m psyched about such an announcement. And will deal with the butt hurt that accompanies.” — My friend Mike who can convince any mode of transportation to take him through the Taco Bell drive-thru
“I was really hoping for ‘Liquid Hot Magma’ or something.” — Boss Meg