As someone who has never worked professionally in a kitchen but who has watched plenty of restaurant reality TV, let me be the first to say that being a cook/chef seems like an incredibly tough and demanding job. Customers want to be fed tasty things and restaurants want them to be happy. But there’s demanding, and then there are lists of 44 requirements for a line cook job posted on Craigslist.

The ad apparently appeared originally on the Bloomington, Ind. Craigslist and is what HappyPlace.com‘s tipster says is a “tiny cafe.” That ad has now been taken down, whether because the restaurant found this paragon of cookdom or because the Internet got ahold of it and prompted whoever posted it to delete the lengthy list.

It starts off with the usual —  “you show up early, and work hard each day,” and “you have a good attitude — show enthusiasm for food and find satisfaction in good work and good cooking.”

Makes sense, right? But then things start to get kind of… personal.

“You are are coachable — don’t get defensive or act like ou already know everything.” Sounds like this was a problem the ad poster had before, is our guess.

And then there’s “you never complain — especially about things that the chef can’t control, like customer requests, the hours the restaurant is open, how busy or slow it is, etc.” Sure, understandable, but who hasn’t complained about someone ordering something ridiculous?

Speaking of things you might not being able to control? Do not get sick. Like, ever: “you always show up for work, even if sick as a dog. Let the chef see that you’re really sick and send you home.” But to avoid dragging your diseased carcass into work, control your body  — “you don’t get sick often” is the very next reason.

There’s also the helpful advice of not making the chef look bad; and don’t even try to take credit for any of your inconveniently good ideas!Bolding is ours: “Even if you think your way is better, do it the way the chef would want you to do it. If you must suggest something, do it in private. Or phrase it so it seems like it was the chef’s idea. Let the chef save face.”

Taken on an individual basis, most of these seem like perfectly reasonable requests. It’s just the list as a whole that’s more than a little bit daunting.

That being said, it’s our sincere hope and greatest wish that this ad has been deleted because someone out there managed to convince whoever is doing the hiring that he or she has all the qualities on this list that are desirable and none of the ones that aren’t. Because otherwise we fear there will never be a line cook employed in that kitchen and everyone will stay hungry.

Check out the entire list of reasons below.

1100 word Craigslist ad seeks line cook for the most high-maintenance restaurant on Earth. [HappyPlace.com]

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