If there’s one thing you can’t do to American consumers and get away with, it’s water down our favorite alcoholic beverages. In the vein of “Don’t water down our Maker’s Mark or pay the consequences,” two Philadelphia brothers are alleging that Anheuser-Bush InBev has been watering down its beverages. And they’ve been drinking plenty of Budweisers to try and prove it.

The brothers are dedicated, with one putting back a two cases of Bud a month and the other sloshing through four to support their claims that AB InBev is using 5% less alcohol content than is advertised on the beer’s labels, reports Philly.com.

“Plaintiffs took [Anheuser-Busch’s] stated percentage of alcohol into account in making their purchases and would not have purchased AB’s malt beverages had they known that AB’s representations were false,” the suit states.

For this egregious slight the twosome are seeking more than $5 million in damages, which could buy plenty of beer that would likely end up just being made by AB InBev or its competitor, SABMiller, anyway.

To that end, the brothers say the brewery controls so much of the U.S. beer market that it feels it can indulge in ” ‘shaving’ the total alcohol content” without anyone being the wiser.

AB InBev says this is all hogwash, a spokesman says.

“Our beers are in full compliance with all alcohol labeling laws. We proudly adhere to the highest standards in brewing our beers, which have made them the best-selling in the U.S. and the world.”

One lawyer who’s already working on other weak-beer suits says there’s scientific proof to support the watered down theory beyond the brothers’ at-home drinking research.

“We know because Anheuser-Busch takes several readings in each line in each brewery 24 hours a day” and uses the data to water the beer down to, or below, the promised alcohol content,” he says. “We’ve spoken with former employees who have confirmed” that beer often leaves the plants with a little less than 5% alcohol, saving “tens of millions of dollars a year by substituting high-quality ingredients with the cheapest ingredients, which is water.”

The brothers are seeking class action status for their suit in Pennsylvania. No word on how many beer bongs you have to prove you can do before joining.

Not enough buzz in Buds, claim Montco bros in suit [Philly.com]

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