Moxie Girlz are from MGA, the same company that brought us Bratz dolls. They’re like a softer version of Bratz, wearing less makeup, having slightly more human proportions, and they’re even fully clothed.

We’re not saying that fashion dolls should reflect reality. However, Moxie Girlz Poopsy Pets resemble the whacked-out fever dream of a pet-obsessed six-year-old. You see, the dolls don’t just come with pets that eat and then defecate. Poopsy Pets eat and poop rainbows and jewels. “If only my cat could crap jewels!” writes tipster Colleen. Yes, that would be much easier to clean up, and pay the student loan balances of the entire Consumerist staff.

This product is technically accurate in that if you feed your pet jewels, it will excrete them back out. They’ll just be embedded in good old-fashioned poop.

Thanks to Colleen for the tip! (If you recognize this item and even her photo from Retail Hell Underground, it’s because she sent it to both of us at the same time.)

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