Is it a man or a robot? A robot impersonating a man? A man impersonating a robot? Such are the questions that flitted through bobbymac’s head as he engaged in text-based dialogue with a Comcast customer service rep.

He was contacting Comcast because his cable tv had been out for 3 months. It was working fine until they made him upgrade and rent a digital conversion box, which both cost more and didn’t work. Now he was involved in a typically annoying conversation full of cut and pasted conversation. The transcript is an amusing read. Bobbymac manages to be both completely pissed off and super polite at the same time. A selection:

Robert: I will repeat my question:

Robert: Does the problem I describe sound familiar to you?

Robert: Here is the problem, which I also will repeat:

Robert: I have cable TV and Internet service. Internet is flawless. Cable TV has not worked for three months. It tells me that every channel I select “will be available momentarily.” Sometimes, the channel flickers in for 30 seconds or less.

WilburCCBV: The “will be available momentarily” is a common problem for cable service.

Robert: The problem began only after Comcast forced me to rent a digital converter box and raised the price of my monthly bill. Now I pay more for service that does not work, and by your account is a common problem. That is bad for business, but good for Comcast investors.

Robert: Having said that, my account number is:

Robert: xxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx

WilburCCBV: Thank you for the information.

WilburCCBV: Allow me to pull up your account.

WilburCCBV: Did you know you can watch many of your favorite TV shows and movies online at no additional cost with Comcast. Check out http://www.xfinitytv.com to watch the latest TV shows, relive a favorite television moment, or just relax with a movie.

WilburCCBV: May I know the full name of the account holder?

Robert: Robert xxxxxxxxx

WilburCCBV: Thank you.

Robert: I am dismayed by the fact that you are making me read advertising messages in this conversation when I am dissatisfied with your service. Tell Brian Roberts that I don’t like that.

WilburCCBV: Robert, are you getting the same message in every channels?

Robert: yes, every channel

WilburCCBV: Can you please unplug the cable box from the power outlet for 30 seconds and plug it back again to refresh your connection.

Robert: Are you human?

WilburCCBV: Yes, Robert.

Robert: It is difficult to ascertain this.

I agree. It’s pretty gauche to advertise costlier services in the middle of a conversation with a customer who isn’t even happy with his current service.

My frustrating Comcast customer service chat [bobbymacReports] (Thanks to Chris!)

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