Sure, we focus on stories of bad customer service here, but Gizmodo turned the shiny white counter around and solicited stories from anonymous Apple Geniuses about the worst customers they’ve ever encountered.

It’s really hard to pick a favorite, but here’s a customer who misunderstood the concept of “Genius Bar,” and perhaps thought that everyone working there is like Micah on “Heroes,” able to diagnose and fix computers with their minds.

Genius Bar appointments are a sad fact of life if you need to get anything made by Apple fixed. But you know, some people don’t have time for that crap. They’re too important. When a guy, we’ll call him Chuck, found out the wait at Robert’s Genius Bar would be at least 30 minutes, he pitched his laptop onto the counter, and told Robert to call him when it was fixed. Without mentioning what was wrong with it, or leaving any contact info.

A few weeks later, Chuck returns, asking about his laptop. Robert remembered who it was, and told Chuck he needed to get it checked in and sign the paperwork before any work could proceed. Chuck didn’t time for all that, and left again. Without a signature, it couldn’t be fixed.

Another few weeks go by, and Chuck returns. Robert’s been waiting, and has a form ready to go that just needs a quick signature. He explains that they haven’t been able to work on the laptop without his signature, but it would only take a couple of days once he signed it over.

Chuck explodes, “IT’S NOT DONE YET? BUT YOU’RE A GENIUS! YOU’RE A GENIUS! YOU’RE A GENIUS! YOU’RE A GENIUS!” Chuck starts doing the Tom Cruise hop as he repeats his cry, over and over.

A different employee goes out to take care of Chuck, who manages to calm down and sign the form, but not without asking the new guy, “What’s it like to work with fags all day?”

Chuck never returned for his computer.

Go to Gizmodo to read them all. The winner gets pizza, so vote if you’re so inclined.

Genius Bar War Stories [Gizmodo]

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.