Stephanie just encountered a Chase CSR who I’m pretty sure will never fall victim to social engineering, and who would likely be unbreakable in a courtroom cross-examination, too. Of course, in Stephanie’s situation this just means that the CSR refuses to help her in any way at all, which isn’t the kind of thing you hope to find when you call customer service.

She writes,

I am an attorney working on the administration of the estate of an individual who recently passed away. As part of my job, I have had to contact the Deceased Department at Chase to obtain certain information. The Deceased Department was – for the most part – great; they added me to the system handily and provided me with information that I needed.

Unfortunately, the time came when I needed account statements for the decedent for the past year. For some reason, the Deceased Department could not do this (why? I have no idea), so they instructed me to contact Customer Service, which for some reason, has a completely different computer system, and does NOT have me listed as an authorized speaker.

And so the fun began:

Customer Rep: [Asked me 9 questions for which I had answers, and then asked me a question that I didn’t have an easy answer to]

Me: I don’t know if I have that information. [Searching through various folders]. Is there another question you can ask me?

Rep: No. Since you are not the primary person on the account, I have to ask you this specific question.

Me: But the primary person on the account is dead.

Rep: [Shrug]

Me: Sir – I really don’t think I know the answer to this, and if I don’t know it, I don’t think anyone else will either.

Rep: You can contact the Deceased Department if you like. They can help you.

Me: I have contacted the Deceased Department before; they told me that I needed to contact you, and now you’re telling me that I need to contact them. I’m not going to go through that loop. [searching through more papers] You know, this is a lot of effort to go through if after I answer it you’re just going to tell me that you can’t speak to me.

Rep: [Shrug]

Me: [Finally found the answer and gave it to the rep]

Rep: Thank you ma’am. Can you tell me your name?

Me: [Gave my name]

Rep: I am not authorized to speak with you.

Me: Ha. Fine. Can [one of the excutors’ names (let’s call her Sarah)] speak with you?”

Rep: I’m not authorized to tell you that.

Me: Fine. Can I confirm at least that you know that [deceased person] is dead?

Rep: Yes

Me: Great… So – do you have letters testamentary on file? (I asked this because it would confirm that Sarah could speak to them)

Rep: I’m not authorized to tell you that.

Me: Ok. What information do you need from me to add me to the account?

Rep: I can’t add you to the account; I can only add you as an authorized person to speak to.

Me: I know. What information do you need from me to add me as an authorized speaker?

Rep: Confirmation from the person who I am authorized to speak to.

Me: Great, but you won’t tell me who that person is.

Rep: That’s right.

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