If The Critic Doesn't Say Exactly What You Want, Change It

Speaking of blurbs and quote-whores, Gelf Magazine has compiled a list of the most egregiously misrepresented blurbs cherry-picked from various reviews last year.

This one makes us shake our heads.

Stephen Holden, from the New York Times seemed to like Across the Universe, and was quoted as saying, “Extraordinary. Across the Universe captured my heart. I fell in love with this movie. It convinces you that love is all you need. Fantastic… gorgeous… delirious… oh-wow!”

Here’s a portion of Stephen Holden’s actual review of Across the Universe with the portions that made up the quote highlighted:

“Another extraordinary scene follows Joe to a United States Army induction center… [skip 10 paragraphs backward] Somewhere around its midpoint, ‘Across the Universe’ captured my heart, and I realized that falling in love with a movie is like falling in love with another person. Imperfections, however glaring, become endearing quirks once you’ve tumbled. … [skip 15 paragraphs forward] during the time it lasts, the intoxicating passion of Jude and Lucy, both innocents by today’s standards, convinces, for a moment, that love is all you need. … [skip 14 paragraphs backward] a fantastic array of puppets, masks and synergistic effects… [skip seven paragraphs forward] A visceral peak arrives with ‘Strawberry Fields Forever.’ In this gorgeous production number… [skip three paragraphs forward] Bono appears as the acid guru, Dr. Robert, a Ken Kesey-Neal Cassady fusion who sings ‘I Am the Walrus’ at an acid-drenched party and conducts Jude, Lucy and a roiling band of Merry Pranksters on a delirious bus journey through a rainbow-colored countryside. … [skip one paragraph ahead] its oh-wow aesthetic …”

What? Does Mr. Holden write movie reviews on his fridge with magnetic poetry?

The Best Worst Blurbs of 2007 [Gelf]