Monsanto Has Trouble Getting Out Of Bed In The Morning

After losing the first round of Worst Company In America, Monsanto suffered from low self-esteem and decreased motivation.

    ST. LOUIS, Oct. 11 (AP) — Monsanto said on Wednesday that its quarterly loss widened as lower sales of seeds and related products offset higher sales of Roundup and other herbicides.

Losses are expected to be made up next quarter with the launch of a new new agricultural product designed to curb population growth in third world countries. They’re still kicking around a few name but so far Infanticide leads the pack.


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  1. ndavies says:

    Not to be entirely misanthropic here, but why only third world countries? Seedless humans sound like the best invention since hypoallergenic cats.

  2. homerjay says:

    You could easily rename most of their products ‘infantcide’

  3. SpamFighterLoy says:

    What amazes me is I was sitting around a conference table with dairy farmers (don’t ask) who laid out that NOT using their infamous BST or whatever it is … doesn’t make a darn difference. While milk production goes down slightly, it’s offset by not having to pay for the hormones.

    Which is pretty much my experience with RoundUp and their consumer line of junk.

    Yeah, I like companies that make chemical solutions for non-existant problems.

  4. conformco says:

    Maybe Meat Tube will still be able to save the company. Mmmm…. tubey.