A joyless, thankless job, the McDonald’s register gimp. Well, “thankless” if you’re considering it as an intellectually challenging and socially fulfilling long-term career prospect. But perhaps less so if you get your kicks hawking throat phlegm into the burgers of uppity patrons.

McDonald’s Talk is a Live Journal community for McDonald’s employees to rant, rave and vent hatred upon their customers. On that note, McDonald’s employee nunnie_504 has posted an astonishing list of forty three things that will cause her to wreak her vengeance upon you, if you should happen not to follow her unspoken, hyperactive protocol to the letter.

Most of the complaints are variations of “Don’t Make Me Do My Job.” But we love this one:

Dont come into the lobby two minutes before we close. chances are ive already cleaned ,and it will only cause me to do unspeakable things to your (already stale) food.

In other words, don’t you dare come in during the stated hours of business, or nunna will ejaculate all over your food.

The entire list is a real winner. Other noteworthy points include “If you don’t speak English, bring an interpreter,” (if only McDonald’s provided the same service for its employees) and “Dont start talking to me about your order you rude whore.”

Things not to do when visiting a Mc Donald’s. ADD ON [McDonald’s Talk]

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.