Happy Memorial Day!

Happy Memorial Day, everyone! John Brownlee here. After a 7 hour flight from Dublin to Boston magically transmogrified into a 19 hour ordeal, I’m finally in Boston for a couple weeks. Say, when did they change that Doritos package, anyway? I don’t approve. There’s a Memorial Day Parade going on outside my window. Immediate observation: Malden High School lets fat girls be cheerleaders now. A good move. Those cheerleader pyramids need a firm base.

Anyway, today will be light blogging here at The Consumerist. The flesh is willing, but the sobriety is weak. We’ll trickle out a few posts today and be back tomorrow, raring to bitch. In the meantime, we hope you all have a great day of riotous debauchery and hammocking sloth ahead of you.