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This one’s for our Canadian pals, all too often ignored by us as America’s Hat. If you’re a Robert’s Wireless Pay-As-You-Go Customer, once you dial up their customer support line the chances of you escaping the plunging maze of robot menus by speaking to an actual human is roughly equivalent to your chances of doggy paddling through the cold vacuum of space your way outside the event horizon of the black hole of oblivion towards which you’re being inexorably sucked.

Luckily, we saw this tip over at Peter Rukavina’s Blog: as soon as you call Roger’s main service number as a pay-as-you-go customer, just say “Other Options” when you’re asked by the chipper robot where they can take you. Then, when they ask if you have an urgent issue, say “Yes.”

If that doesn’t work, we’ve got another tip that seems to work on a surprising number of robot automate customer service lines. When a robot asks how it can help you in that atonal Kubrickian way of theirs, simply take a deep breath and then scream into the phone, as loud as you can: “I want to take to a human now! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW!” while smashing the receiver of the phone violently into the side of your head. This works more often than you would think and will be a new variable in any future “Time to Human” polls that Ben conducts.

How to talk to a real person at Rogers Wireless [Peter Rukavina’s Blog]

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