Worst Company in America: Tier 1 Results

Ladies and Gentlemen, your Tier 1 champions! Some no-brainers, squeakers and absolute pummeling.

Despite our best efforts to cast Target as an evil interloper, Walmart took the gold. Sprint barely beat Verizon by 18 votes, despite Verizon having such vaunted customer service. And in a surprise upset, the US government, despite not “officially” being a corporation, beat Enron by 169 votes! You go, girl!

We understand Tier 2 will be filled with trouncing. This is our first ladder we’ve ever made, sorry. While you were betting on basketball, we were touching ourselves.

Having eliminated all the lesser of two evils, Friday’s shakedown for Tier 3, will be hot.

We’re talking Paris Hilton hot.

In other news, NPR’s Marketplace says they’re going to interview us this afternoon about this poll. This will be a great way to reach all those execs and vp’s who can’t read the New York Times. We wonder if we’re allowed to bring in our own sound effects.