Gilette s Fusion Razor Review With Built-In Laser-Ion Cannon

Copyranter, a disaffected but unbowed copywriter, has a “nice,” i.e. fanged, review of Gilette’s new Fusion razor, which, in keeping with predictions by The Onion and Mad Magazine, features five blades, 10 microfins, a trimmer, a face-goo strip and an intergalactic sub-atomic ray gun.

With a smattering of boldface Copyranter writes…

“This must be what it felt like to be caressed by Aphrodite. God must now include the Fusion in your orientation kit when you ascend to heaven. After shaving this morning, I grabbed 3 random downtown Supermodels and kissed them. All three are now under my desk taking turns gently and lovingly servicing me. The five-blade Fusion
well worth the $109.99 price tag.”

BTW, we spotted the Fusion available at for $9.99, cartridges for $14.99.

A commenter to the post, Todd, claims, “Having worked for McCann on Gillette at one point (in Europe), I know that they can fiddle with the quality of the blades. At rollout, they are supermodel blowjob excellent. As time goes on and people have adopted their “system” they ratchet down the quality and let the money just flooooooow on in…”

David writes, “As a man who can grow some serious facial hair, I must say that I will purchase anything Gillette has to offer. If it’s new, I’ll get it. Forty-seven blades? Sign me up. Battery powered? Done. Fifty dollars for 3 replacement blades? Fine…”

We, sick of replacement blades and shaving cream prices, use a Norelco Reflex Plus electric razor (Christmas gift) and it works pretty darn good as long as you press hard enough.

Look Ma! No more blood! (on my handheld particle accelerator with built-in razor).

The Fusion: A Review [Copyranter]

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