While watching his kids play around with less-than-sanitary but delightfully inexpensive empty toilet paper rolls, Art discovered the height of the newer rolls had shrunk. This is definitely the work of the dreaded Grocery Shrink Ray. [More]
toilet paper
Should College Students In Dorms Have To Buy Their Own Toilet Paper?
By 7.21.10
Often, one of the perks of living in a dorm at college is the housekeeping, which dumps the trash, hoses down the bathroom and refills depleted toilet paper rolls in the stalls. But at Texas A&M, students in dorms may soon be responsible for having to supply their own TP. [More]
Quilted Northern Justifies Shrinking Its TP
By 10.19.09
Ed wrote to Georgia-Pacific about its grocery shrink ray zapping of Quilted Northern toilet paper. The company consoles Ed and all his fellow wipers by saying the sheet count is only “slightly reduced:”
Northern Hopes You Don't Notice Your Shrinking Toilet Paper
By 10.15.09
Many readers have reported the Grocery Shrink Ray strike on Northern toilet paper, but today Jack and Richard sent us photographic evidence, and even calculations of exactly how much paper consumers are losing out on.
Comfort Wipe: For When You Just Can't Wipe Yourself Anymore
By 6.11.09
Do you need help wiping your own behind? Do you just not like touching toilet paper, and want a plastic device to do it for you? It’s a good thing that you live in 21st-century America, because the Comfort Wipe is here to help you.
How Badass Is Your Butt-Wipe? Consumer Reports Tests Toilet Paper
By 3.31.09
The “Wet Strike” test, seen in this video, is one of the ways Consumer Reports tests toilet paper. They stretch the paper over a beaker, wet it, and then dribble lead pellets onto it from a funnel. The paper that holds the most pellets is the strongest. Neat! Results will be unveiled in the May issue.
Consumer Hero Investigates Toilet Paper "Sheet Shorting" Conspiracy
By 1.28.08
Leo Hill figures that every single roll of toilet paper he’s bought since 2006 has shorted him at least one “sitting,” says the Denver Post.
Wipe Your Butt With Designer Toilet Paper By Renova
By 12.12.07
Renova is selling the first “fashionable” toilet paper, available in four designer colors: Black, Red, Orange, and Green. Their catalog copy reads, “A voluptuous texture. Colors for an outstanding style. A warm mystery in every single olfactive moment. Soft and glamorous…A paper full of pleasure.”
Kmart Loses Toilet Paper Tax Lawsuit
By 12.1.07
Mary Bach, the woman who sued Kmart for charging tax on toilet paper, has won her lawsuit and $100. Kmart offered to settle with Bach, but she declined.
K-Mart Illegally Taxes Toilet Paper
By 10.6.07
A Pennsylvania K-Mart levied an illegal $0.28 tax on Mary Bach’s $3.99 12-pack of Angel Soft toilet paper. Pennsylvania’s sales tax guide clearly states that toilet paper is a non-taxable item. Mary first spoke with a cashier after noticing the illegal charge. When K-Mart again charged her the tax on a second visit, she decided to sue.
Charmin Rolls Out Shorter Ultra Big Rolls
By 4.15.07
Charmin Ultra Big Rolls have shrunk by 1 centimeter, but don’t expect the price to drop anytime soon. The discoverer of the change has an interesting take on the smaller Ultra Big rolls:
The fabulous news here, obviously, is that America’s collective butt is getting smaller, and the folks at Proctor & Gamble are merely keeping pace. They’ve narrowed the width of Charmin, the veritable Rolls Royce of Toilet Paper, purely in response to our nation’s decreasing posteriors.
AdRants: Haltime Flush, PETA’s Milk Gone Wild, Nail-Biting Bag
By 1.26.06
Ad Rants is a wealth of good stories today, so plucking out just one would be too easy. Our first inclination tilted inevitably towards the puerile, prompted by the strange decision by Scott Toilet Paper to promote the ‘Halftime Flush.’
