Ad Rants is a wealth of good stories today, so plucking out just one would be too easy. Our first inclination tilted inevitably towards the puerile, prompted by the strange decision by Scott Toilet Paper to promote the ‘Halftime Flush.’

But we would be remiss if we did not pass on their link to Milk Gone Wild, a PETA-backed parody of the titty-popping Girls Gone Wild series (for those who inexpicably are less embarrassed to own and display such a video in lieu of honest, red-blooded pornography). Milk Gone Wild‘s girls quite literally flash their udders, spewing fresh milk from one of their four-to-five nipples directly into the mouth of Murray Hill residents on vacation in a vacation spot populated by the families of their future housekeepers. Which sounds, you know, awesome, so we don’t quite know what the point is, as we quickly stopped the video as it segued into its “milk sucks and is full of pus” message to rewind back to the part that dislodged our latent furry tendencies.

Any other day this image of a anti-nail-biting campaign would be our picture, but if we’ve learned one thing about journalism, it’s that if it bleeds—especially if that blood is pus-filled milk—it leads.

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