health
Hardee’s Unfazed By Water Cut-Off
Bunnyspatial wrote to us about a local Hardee’s that was conducting business with its water turned off, and the fascinating implications that raises:
UPDATE: Popeye Gets E. Coli
No one knows how a good portion of the nation’s spinach farms became a verdant, leafy forest for the bowel-liquefying E. Coli virus. But the good news is that one of the suppliers of bad spinach has been identified.
Merck’s Vioxx Replacement Still A Heart Risk
Merck’s getting in on the arthritis market again with a new drug, called Arcoxia. You might remember their previous offering, Vioxx, which was discontinued two years ago after octogenarians countrywide lifted their contorted, claw-like hands to a withered chest and let out a rattling gasp under the influence of a massive, Vioxx-induced heart attack. Lawsuits abounded.
Popeye Gets E. Coli
And millions of small children all across America suddenly break out into one collective peal of delight: a massive outbreak of E. coli in bagged spinach has federal health officials warning consumers not to eat the foul-tasting weed.
CDC: MoistureLoc, Yep, It Had Fungus
An official report concluded Renu MositureLoc was the only eye care solution contributing to outbreaks of Fusarium infection earlier this year. They still had no clue why, though.
Let’s Hear Some Juicy HMO and Insurance Stories
And that’s about all we have to say. This post could end right here. But we want to expand our editorial horizons and that means whipping you into giving up the ghost we parasitically digest and regurgitate in the form of helpful and entertaining information.
Everyone’s Already Eating A Fourthmeal!
Under fire from their bizarre ‘Fourth Meal’ campaign, Taco Bell has taken an odd defensive tact. Instead of claiming that they invented the fourth meal (a midnight burrito gorge fest, scheduled between dinner and breakfast to help you get through that calorically taxing ‘sleepytime’ period of the day), Taco Bell explains…
Blogobitchin!
• When your MacBook is cooking, Apple prefers you sizzle blind. [Tuaw] “MacBook Pro heat problem heats up”
McDonald’s Christens Playgrounds as Gyms
Just stop trying, McDonald’s. Go back to selling unhealthy cheese burgers, dripping with fat; tall gelatinous shakes, so cold and sweet they give brain freeze along with diabetes to all who taste them. That’s what you did best. You never should have caved to the vegetarians, the health-conscious, the Spurlock Collective: just told them to eat somewhere else.
In Which My Mother Consumes Five Gallons of Marshmallow Fluff
Summary: Massachusetts Senator Jarrett Barrios introduced anti-Marshmallow Fluff Legislation. It was widely ridiculed, then opposed by a measure to make the Fluffernutter the official State Sandwich. The proposed legislation has been withdrawn; Boston’s children again are safe to engorge themselves on the sticky, diabetes-inducing paste. Malden’s pornographers are similarly relieved. All is well with the world.
